al

When I was 18 I impulsively bought a ticket to Hawaii for the next morning and when I got there I randomly met a guy, we had a blast drinking whiskey and skinny dipping on the beach at night …..We got married and had a baby! :)

(in the back of a cop car) lights green u can go

Help 😭

just heard my ex’s side of the story and i was funny asf for that

I need someone to take away my dab pen, my cash, and my ID

alex and elle be like

I have way too much free time and now my kid is about to start school so there will be MORE ???

Taking a nap. Peeing on my floor was hard work , so he deserves it

Alex when he decided to get blacked out drunk at our friends house and throw up his freshly eaten meal into every crevice of the friends recliner couch and then pass out on the bathroom floor so I had to come to the dudes house and clean it all up by myself then haul him home 🔥

Young people need to understand what RFK Jr. just did Before Obamacare, insurance companies could deny you coverage for CHEMOTHERAPY because you had acne as a teenager. They considered PREGNANCY a pre-existing condition. Childhood asthma too. And could deny you. This is bad.

my friend said a corn maze at her wedding would cost $30K i’m trying to convince her to take out a loan

Beautiful masc lesbian on tinder but her whole profile is about how she only likes butch </3

Me asf unfortunately

*bravely* …..I feel like the good genes thing was referencing her giant tits and beautiful face not her skin color…….yall can lmk if I’m crazy tho

saying "this is a vibe fr" before the chiropractor permanently disables me from the neck down

your honor that bitch is a weirdo

it's forgive yourself friday

If you don’t have a couple of permanent injuries you just haven’t lived

Why does all my energy come out in one big burst at the end of the night