Trefology

In trefology criss cross applesauce is not only how we sit, it is how we eat applesauce. LEARN LIFE LEARN TREFOLOGY trefology.com

Things are so bad, lately, with the economy. I’ve had to rent out my bedroom and sleep in the bathtub. And let me tell you, I am barely keeping my head above water.

My imaginary friend said i was not real enough.

I love jack-in-the-box music, but my arm always gets tired from turning the crank.

I used to keep a diary. But I was so worried someone might read it, I started lying in it. Later I published it with the title, "My Perilous Journey to the North Pole".

My shadow self loves mushrooms. I can’t stand them. So anytime I see it eating some, I step into the shade— "Now how are they? I say to it.

As a kid I never wanted to choose a balloon. I wanted the balloon to choose me. Like in that French film by Albert Lamorisse. But it never never did. And long story short -- that is why to-day i remain* balloonless *(Largely)

I got a ticket for loitering but I was just standing there reading the “Absolutely No Loitering” sign. I said, "If you don’t want me standing around, you need to use shorter words. That sign is practically inviting me to linger.

I always print my resume on tortillas. And if the interview doesn't go well, I ask for it back. Along with some butter and salt. I figure maybe they'll say, "Now that’s the kind of initiative we like to see!"

I never wanted to choose a balloon. I wanted the balloon to choose me. Like in that French film. But it never never did. And long story short -- that is why I was eventually thrown out of Party City.

My teapot whilstles to let me know the water is boiling. And other times it whistles when it sees something really incredible occuring and there are simply no words to describe it. And that's when I rush in and say, "What?"

To-day I saw the most beautiful girl in the world and I walked up to her and said, "Hey, Charlie Rich told me to tell you that he's very sorry."

My guess is whoever named, Death Valley, was probably not that crazy about it.

I nailed a horsehoe over my door for good luck. You can barely see it because I got the horse shoe from a box of Lucky Charms cereal. Just a little purple dot above my door But the way I see it now not only am I lucky. I think I may be magically delicious.

A friend of mine can bend spoons using only his mind. I asked him if he could bend a fork with his mind, too, but he just got angry and said, "Are you an idiot?"

Sometimes I worry my inferiority complex is not as complex as some others I've seen.

I was called out to fight by this kid at school. I wasn't thrilled by it, but I had to admire his traditionalism. After stating his intention, he slapped me on both cheeks with his gloves, which, unfortunately, still contained his fists.

[yanks back shower curtain] "They calls me Robert BLOCK cause I likes to get PSYCHO and block the shit out of you morons!" [high pitched squeak] block block block block

If kleenex really wants to make some money, just add a little sneezing powder to your tissues.

if you ever accidentally step into some dog poop on a date. Just pretend like you meant to. Like it's just one note in the symphony of moments that is the music of you.

Sometimes I feel my inferiority complex is not as complex as some of the others I've seen.