forest fr1ends
@forest_fr1ends
no affiliation with sylvanian families.
- i warned him, i said ‘stay back!!’. clowns make me nervous. - i’ll need to retrieve the spinny bow-tie. can someone pass me the speculum and a head torch…
- i’m back mummy. i’ve been to narnia and met a fawn and a white witch, and mr & mrs beaver and— - jesus christ, wake up terry, she’s found our ketamine stash…
this weather’s killing me. everything’s so sticky down there. it’s like i’ve been wanking with a pritt stick…
i wish they’d turn that awful music down, it’s ruining my feng shui. torquin, how’s your goat cheese & beetroot gelato…?
this sort of horseshit is the reason i’m divorcing you geoff, now let the f**king spaghetti go...
i’ll be honest, this sexy ‘CSI role-play’ loses some of its romance when you turn on the UV light...
what a relief to finally sort out our life insurance. let’s celebrate with some toast…
i don’t know how to say this without denting your confidence, but for the last 10 minutes you’ve been licking my caesarean scar...
- i wish i didn’t have to go to school tomorrow. - well, i wish i hadn’t done mushrooms this late on a monday evening sweetie, but i guess we all have our demons to face…
oh the farm-life. the fresh air, the open spaces, the harvest of god’s glorious bounty, that dead duck being face f**ked by a diseased goat…
- happy father’s day daddy! - i don’t know sweetie, i’m a bit busy at the moment. ask mummy.
need to buy cards? my new friends at brainbox candy got a shit tonne of them. use code: 5FOR10 tinyurl.com/mt6phrue
well tony, this has been a massive night for the braithwaites. all 3 holes in one session…
- these illegal cannabis farms are becoming a real problem, this is the 3rd fire in a week. - sir, i’ve brought reinforcements…
ok, so i’m being advised against the ‘reverse psychology’ thing, so let me try again. you’re NOT a big wet lettuce and i’m sure someone somewhere probably loves you…
ok, so your mother disagrees, but what about you. do you think the spaghetti was a little too ‘al dente’…?
- sorry i disappeared mrs davenport, i forgot something back at the depot , but i should be able to plumb your new toilet in now. - i wish i’d known that about 4 minutes ago…
- fancy a little spontaneous morning sex? - you’ve got breath like satan’s anus, and i’ve got wirey black hairs in places that even charles darwin would struggle to explain…
- put your eyes back in your head. - what have i done now? - i see you ogling at her. you’re like a f**king dog with two dicks…
