CookieMonster (parody)

Cookie Monster movie review: Superhero Movie (2008) Imagine mash-up of first two Spiderman movies and original X-Men movie but MUCH less hilarious. Dat pretty much sum up dis tired time-waster. On to monster’s review… ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

Cookie Monster movie review Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007) Dis be turd Fantastic Four movie monster watch. In more ways den one. Reed Richards and Sue Storm be in love and want to get married. Meanwhile, silver alien on surfboard fly around world creating…

Cookie Monster movie review: Spider-Man 3 (2007) As rule of thumb, you know you in for crappy viewing experience when SUPERHERO movie you watching kick off wit MUSIKAL NUMBER. Let just say dat, after sitting thru rest of dis film, monster wasn’t any Less Miserables. Whew! Dis…

Cookie Monster movie review: Zoom (2006) Dis be less a movie and more an interminable collektion of lame musical montage sekwences punctuated by occasional attempts at a plot, charakter development and, worst of all, humor. It say a lot about dis catastrophe dat de most…

Cookie Monster movie review: Lightspeed (2006) Dis movie suck more den Grover’s aunt Tildy at a Shriner’s convention. Movie begin wit guy walking down a dark alley where he encounter shaky creep hiding under dirty blanket. To most sane people, dis be invitation to skedaddle.…

Cookie Monster movie review: My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006) Dis movie reminiscent of monster’s ex-girlfriend, Mona Hildeberger. One time, she get so mad after me use dishwasher to dry socks dat she spike monster’s L’Oreal shampoo wit Nair hair remover. For two months while wait…

Cookie Monster movie review: Superman Returns (2006) Dis movie more boring den Fozzie Bear’s off-off-off Broadway production of “Old Coronation Street Episodes”. It so bad dat monster invite friends over and invent Superman Returns drinking game. Everytime someone begin to doze…

Cookie Monster movie review: X-Men 3 - The Last Stand (2006) On de one hand, dis movie not as good as original or sekwel. On de other hand, it not make monster want to vomit, kick in his t.v., or punch someone in de nards. Movie pick up where last one left off. Jean Grey be…

Cookie Monster movie review: Sky High (2005) Monster can’t help but tink dat if Wonder Woman had been my high school principal, me could have accomplished so much more in life. Instead, here me is doing movie reviews to help support my cookie habit. But me suppose it could be…

Cookie Monster movie review: Batman Begins (2005) Batman Begins fantastik but END just okay. Direktor Christopher Nolan use Richard Donner Superman as a guide and, strukturally, both movies very similar wit strong, backstory-rich, character-driven first halves dat eventually…

Cookie Monster movie review: The Fantastic Four (2005) Okay, yes, dis be garbage movie but viewer have to keep in mind dat it made in 1994 by schlock producer Roger Corman for miniscule budget and film never meant to be released…Wait. What? Dis NOT de Roger Corman crapfest…

Cookie Monster movie review: Shark Boy and Lava Girl (2005) While watching Shark Boy and Lava Girl, monster reminded of great children’s movies like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Toy Story, and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang – and how very crap Shark Boy and Lava Girl be in…

Cookie Monster movie review: Elektra (2005) Dis movie as confused as monster at Grover’s bris after me down four shooters, tree oatmeal cookies (de drink, not de cookie), and six oatmeal cookies (de cookies, not de drink). But me not de only one confused dat night. Turn out…

Cookie Monster movie review: Captain America (1990) Just in time for five dayz after Forth of July! From direktor of Kickboxer 4: De Aggressor and Nemesis III: Prey Harder and producer of Breakin’ 2: Elektrik Boogaloo and Super IV: Quest for Peace (uh oh) come Captain America,…

Cookie Monster movie review: Darkman (1990) In his most understated performance since role of Rob Roy in movie me can’t remember name of, Liam Neeson play part of brilliant doctor who invent sintetic skin (lucky) but not have much success perfekting formula (unlucky) but have…

Cookie Monster movie review: Mystery Men (1999) Awesome! Fantastic! Amazing! All words monster use to describe The Mystery Men. Soundtrack. Some terrific tunes in dis movie. Terrific! On de other hand, words monster use to describe de aktual movie = Meh. Okay. And…

Cookie Monster movie review: The Incredibles (2004) Me know, me know. You expecting monster to say dis movie be SUPER. Or mebbe INCREDIBLE! But me not so obvious. No, monster more unprediktable den Kanye West at an awards show. What me WILL say is dat monster pleasantly…

Cookie Monster movie review: Catwoman (2004) How can movie about sexy bendy girl who wear leather outfit and carry a whip not be good? How possible? Well, why not we run down pros and cons of Catwoman. Cons: crappy akting, stoopid skript, lame direktion, annoying music,…