m 🐀

we are all the b-t parade. every single fan is a part of it and when one of us goes a tiny piece of the parade goes too, and when one day b-t is no longer there we all have to continue the parade for them, forever and ever, the b-t parade goes on.

idk if im ready for it yet, but i might watch the izora 0723 tour footage tonight to reminisce... but i think it would actually probably be really bad for my mental health..

either something is very wrong with me or grief has come for a visit... i have cried quite literally 7 times in the past 2 days over atsushi.

gonna cry, my best friend is back from her month long trip 😭😭 im gonna sob when i see her, and hug her, and hold her, she means the world to me.. im already tearing up just knowing she's home safe

man fuck should i apply for tickets...? i kinda really want my partner to see b-t with me and i also think i need him there for my first time seeing them without atsushi bc otherwise i fear "accidentally" "falling" on the tracks in front of train post concert.......

i wish i could just quit my job and be a historian about atsushi. i would love to write a biography about his life, his love, his passion, his resilience, his creativity, his courage.... he is such a wonderful amazing person, he deserves monuments in his name.