Chris Erskine

@erskinetimes

Deist misfit. Scorpio dad. Failed capitalist. "I'm everything she never wanted."

Los Angeles

Joined February 2010

6KFollowing

7KFollowers

Chris Erskine@erskinetimes · Jul 23

Everything in life eventually ends. Except good friendships. chriserskinela.com/2025/07/23/fri…

erskinetimes's tweet card. Yep, friendship is forever. As Johnny Carson used to say, put that in your pipe and smoke it.

343

Chris Erskine@erskinetimes · Jul 19

Not yet

PPammyN@nothwang_pam · Jul 19

Also, is she a redhead? Hard to tell in the photo.

551

Chris Erskine@erskinetimes · Jul 19

Meet the new kid: "Babies give us new songs to sing." chriserskinela.com/2025/07/19/mee…

erskinetimes's tweet card. FYI, you are third in line to the throne, behind your sweet cousins, Cakes and Puddles.

6.0K

Chris Erskine@erskinetimes · Jul 16

Elephants invade Beverly Hills...and other summer banter. chriserskinela.com/2025/07/16/ban…

erskinetimes's tweet card. New definition of “white noise”: the sound suburban husbands make after 12 years of marriage.

303

Chris Erskine@erskinetimes · Jul 12

One moment she is all you can think about; the next you're married. chriserskinela.com/2025/07/12/a-m…

erskinetimes's tweet card. My sister Holly toasts her son (the groom) with: “Johnny, I cut the cord with you 31 years ago. And tonight we do it again…”

298

Chris Erskine Retweeted

Bill Plunkett@billplunkettocr · Jul 9

For the 2nd year in a row, #Dodgers are staggering to the All-Star break. Last year, it was a 1-5 trip to Philly and Detroit. This year, it's a 5-game losing streak after an overpowering performance by Jacob Misiorowski and the Brewers bullpen ocregister.com/2025/07/08/dod…

7.0K

Chris Erskine Retweeted

Corner Butcher Shop@CornerButcher · Jul 8

Fire up the grill and put some crab legs on 🦀🦀🦀

171

Chris Erskine@erskinetimes · Jul 9

"Char your salmon till it barks" ...and other Dad Fusion tips chriserskinela.com/2025/07/09/dad…

erskinetimes's tweet card. Up in wine country last week, I grilled up some slabs of salmon in that rich, crispy way that turns the Omega 3 oils into a sort of nuclear nectar.

242

Chris Erskine@erskinetimes · Jul 5

Scoop some ice cream in your coffee and settle back with these mid-summer musings. Cheers chriserskinela.com/2025/07/05/sum…

erskinetimes's tweet card. “At 18, our convictions are hills from which we look; at 45, they are caves in which we hide.” –F. Scott Fitzgerald

377

Chris Erskine@erskinetimes · Jul 3

Happy birthday, Franz Kafka! May your special day be appropriately peevish and miserable

420

Chris Erskine@erskinetimes · Jul 2

As they used to say, "Life's a beach." chriserskinela.com/2025/07/02/fro…

erskinetimes's tweet card. Did the moms really want us home, to interrupt their quiet night with Dean Martin and the Golddiggers? Or the latest episode of “Mannix?”

254

Chris Erskine Retweeted

Variety@Variety · Jun 28

Apple Studios is scoring its biggest opening ever with the Brad Pitt racing thriller “F1,” which hit the track with $25 million across Friday and previews. tinyurl.com/bddrvdtp

255

3.0K

92.0K

Chris Erskine@erskinetimes · Jun 28

Pick a Life chriserskinela.com/2025/06/28/pic…

erskinetimes's tweet card. For the record, I’m leaving this house only at gunpoint. The sight of the cluttered closets alone should sway my kids that I should stay.

319

Chris Erskine@erskinetimes · Jun 25

Up, Up and Away: On commercial flights, there is always one dude eating deli food at 6 am chriserskinela.com/2025/06/25/up-…

erskinetimes's tweet card. I will say that I’m amazed at how patient and decent my fellow travelers mostly are, switching seats if Mom wants to sit next to her stepson (little Waylon), or Cody wants to sit near his girlfriend...

296

Chris Erskine@erskinetimes · Jun 21

It’s wedding season in wine country. chriserskinela.com/2025/06/21/geo…

erskinetimes's tweet card. I think weddings have evolved, gotten better in the past 20 years. Some are still too large, too ornate, too stuffy, too frilly. Most, like this one, are just right.

392

Chris Erskine Retweeted

ClutchPoints@ClutchPoints · Jun 19

The Lakers ranks under Jerry, Jeanie and the Buss family since purchasing the team back in 1979: 🏆 .604 win percentage (1st in NBA) 🏆 301 playoff wins (1st in NBA) 🏆 11 championships (1st in NBA) 🏆 6 MVP winners (1st in NBA) - Magic Johnson (3), Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Shaq and…

1.0K

6.0K

332

296.0K

Chris Erskine Retweeted

Dave Suiter@DaveSuiter23 · Jun 18

I always love your columns @erskinetimes, but this one is especially great because you gave me and our favorite bookstore @PagesMB a shout out! This Fertile Little House chriserskinela.com/2025/06/18/thi…

269

Chris Erskine Retweeted

Tucker Carlson@TuckerCarlson · Jun 18

Ted Cruz on Iran. Full interview tomorrow.

18.0K

28.0K

165.0K

21.0K

40.2M

Chris Erskine@erskinetimes · Jun 18

One mama, three tiny eggs... chriserskinela.com/2025/06/18/thi…

erskinetimes's tweet card. As you know, I do almost everything as an act of love, except for love itself, for which I demand immediate payment.

224

Chris Erskine@erskinetimes · Jun 17

Medium rare is often medium. Medium is often well. And “well done” is a hockey puck

GGavin Valenti@GavinValenti · Jun 17

How do you like your hamburgers cooked? Rare. Medium-Rare. Medium. Well-Done. 🍔🔥

713