𝑬 𝑵 𝑽 𝒀
@enviousshifter
𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚓𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜. 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚏𝚞𝚕. 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
"At least my brain does something besides finding things to complain about."
ᅠ ᅠ “I bet your brain spins around like a soup in a microwave.” ᅠ
Points to the bowl of whatever milk-free food he was eating. "Come to think of it, you're the only one who's a grooowing boooooy who needs his nutriiiitionnnn. You damn pig. Think we all are gonna clean after you? I should get granny pinako in here."
“ . . . Noooo ..?”
"Simple is relaxing. You should try it sometime."
ᅠ ᅠ “You're a simple mind, aren't you?” ᅠ
"Then think of this ten percent of thinking of rotisserie chicken and microwaves as a vacation."
ᅠ ᅠ “Envy. That's literally what you ninety percent of the time.” ᅠ
"If you do, give the baby a few years and they'll become the next war casualty."
⠀⠀⠀⠀ Yeah, okay, it's true that the colonel and I are having an affair. Calm down, it's not like I'm going to get pregnant by him. ⠀⠀⠀⠀
Somehow he squeals even though he's a shrimp. "I didn't say I wanted you to waste my lives by drowning me in that filthy sink! Hey! Heeeyyyyy!!!"
(She catches it, goes over to the sink and hangs it over it, amused.) I think a shrimp lives in water, right ... ?
"Goooood boooyyyy, Edward. Now, get going and use a lot of soap, else I'll give Granny a ring and tell her to bring her wrench. ... you know, to fix the plumbing or something."
Edward froze mid-chew, eyes widening as the words hit him like a brick, voice pitching up, “W-Wait-, No! Don’t get Granny!” He pulled the bowl closer, suddenly very protective of the milk-free meal like it held the last shred of his dignity, “I’ll do the damn dishes—”
@enviousshifter I really want to die, right now
it is i shrimp chan @ISHBAL_LUXURE you have summoned me
Flops around and rolls so he falls off her shoulder
My little Shrimp~
Shapeshifts into a literal shrimp
"You're heartless to me, shrimp."
"I don't. Maybe that's exactly what I should be seeing."
"Pride ate Gluttony. You see me going to Pride and saying, 'Do the dishes?' "
"Tch. Whatever you say then. so who's the culprit of all those dirty dishes? If it's Gluttony, you should have been managing him."
"I don't know how to cook, Envy. I eat takeout, or I get invited to restaurants by men. They're not my dishes either!" A typical brother-sister argument.
"You mean come after YOU. I've been doing my frozen dinners and paper plates just to not have to bother with your dishes chores."
"..." Oh, the sideways look. She sighs wearily. "You know very well that if this isn't done, Father will come after us."
"Answer this. Who made the mess in the sink? Who ate from those dishes? Not me. I've been using paper plates."
@enviousshifter It's your turn to do the dishes. No way I'm doing it for you again.
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