darkwise

Just once, when a girl scout knocks, I want to open the door dressed as the Cookie Monster and go fucking nuts.

I tipped a cow last night. I hope that 10% was enough.

I can't believe that Hulk Hogan died today. Black Sabbath will never be the same without him.

I would be more worried about what the rhythm is going to do to you after it gets you.

It's sad how all it takes is a death for hundreds of thousands of leeches to post about someone they have never posted or cared about before.

My family always asks me to call them. So now they are no longer family.

I finished all of my unfinished business in my past life.

All of my greatest adventures begin and end with you.

Life lesson, never take vitamins while mindlessly holding dog treats in the other hand.

Remember how mothers used to tell us that if we don't have anything nice to say not to say anything at all? That is how mimes are made.

At my house I have an only dogs on the couch policy.

The best way to deal with enemies is to find a common ground... underwater, and hold their face to it for a good hour or so.

Which cheat code do I enter for extra lives in real life?

I am starting to worry that my ego is going to leave stretch marks around my head.

A little intergoolactic fun. #gpk #garbagepailkids #garbagepailkidscards #gijoe #gijoecommunity #gijoetoys #actionfigures #arah #oring #ogtoys #og13 #repost #toycommunity #armybuilder #toys #vintagetoys #80stoys

It's one of those days.

Keep your friends close, and your enemies in small bags in the freezer.

Keep your eyes on what's in front of you.

Sometimes, our loves is strongest in the silence. At other times, I crave your noise.

If you have your relationship rules all figured out, don't worry, she will change them.

Someone threatened to make me sleep with the fishes this morning. Honestly, a nap sounds great.