coot

with all due respect, when it comes to eating peaches, shorty, we don’t play

he was sleeping like this

face card never declines

every time i hit 3300 followers, elon does something particularly insane causing a bunch of ppl to deactivate, and i end up back around 3200. so now we wait.

my next two dogs are gonna be named grizz and dot com

fuckin hate an unsolved mystery. like what do you mean we don’t know what happened. just find out

Unfortunately for me my breasts are neither small nor humble so they frequently get confused with mountains

two babies who have eaten a nonzero amount of goose poop this morning

when the alcohol hits mid-tweet

alcohol free beer is awesome bc wdym im hydrating while enjoying a hoppy beverage

this fuckin weirdo

“why do men need nipples” to fuck up their chest tattoos

Anyone wanna go in on this urine fetish kit with me 😏

let your haters be your cater waiters when you stand at the high-top table of success

found a used needle in the park, who wants hepatitis

my closet is like a boutique, everything is two sizes too small

why be best when you can we worst

car fire

7:30am is having a moment

Lol this is so stupid, Im mad I laughed