cory
@coolmathgame_
suck my Big Stupid Ass
do you guys think i will ever find a gf? for context im 26M with no job and im 2’3 and i cant shower because the faucet is too high and i cant reach it
hey man cool opinion. do you mind if i shoot you in the head with a gun
okay but imagine if ayahuasca was mandatory
Okay but imagine if ayahuasca was mandatory? We have to do mandatory things like school and drivers licenses tests? Or even just being a numbered cow with our social security # Maybe not mandatory but maybe highly suggested? These things can help people so much
just voted for my favorite couple on love island. when do they become president
Doctor says i need to be hooked up to a machine. doesn't know what kind yet. "definitely some kind of machine" he says
do yall have a discount for swagged out white boys who can low key hoop, find beauty in the small things in life and appreciate hip hop on a deeper level than most people?
[at a funeral] me: i’d like to say something [they hand me a mic and i walk up to the front] me: hey what’s up guys chilis is having a 5% off discount today im supposed to promote it i didn’t really know where to go but i saw a mic and a bunch of people gathered around
[recording with my meta glasses] woahhhh. this whole thing is fucked up. makes you think funeral director: i’m sorry, did you know the deceased? me: no. just vlogging. just vloggin all the fucked up shit that comes with life you know? i regularly sit up at night and cry
love island? that sounds wonderful. :) i would love to go. what? it’s full of british people? nevermind. that sounds awful.
the riddler: Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it? batman: i am going to beat the shit out of you and put you in jail
me to my only friend that laughs at my jokes every now and then: dude we should write a tv show
yoda: another miller light, i’ll have bartender: alright you’re cut off me: yo he’s chill he just talks like that
the nba finals… i hope all of the player studied! haha. just a little joke for you guys. i haven’t been doing well recently
me: i swear i wasn’t there the night of the murder. i was at home cranking my shit cop: dude you’re not even a suspect i don’t need to know that me: i was straight up jacking my shit off that night