Chicago Urbanist

[Obama douching]: “Uhhh let me be clear.”

Maybe I’ll identify as a teetotaler to feel superior

[Pretending I’m Gen Z]: “What’s a 9/11?”

Running on Diet Arnold Palmer and Alani rn

Hopefully the UK’s decline is accelerated

The Hiawatha should be faster and more frequent so that Milwaukee can be a true Chicago suburb

I’m gonna miss public transit when it death spirals

The 10 Chicago suburbs with the lowest median home values: -Park City -Hodgkins -Ford Heights -Sauk Village -Phoenix -Dixmoor -Harvey -Park Forest -Riverdale -Markham

The 10 Chicago suburbs with the highest median home values: -Kenilworth -Glencoe -Winnetka -Bannockburn -Hinsdale -Golf -Lake Forest -South Barrington -Barrington Hills -Oak Brook

The 10 Chicago suburbs with the lowest median rents: -Hometown -Phoenix -Kaneville -Wilmington -Ford Heights -Peotone -Harvey -Steger -Berkeley -Manhattan

The 10 Chicago suburbs with the highest median rents: -Bull Valley -Kenilworth -Long Grove -Oak Brook -Olympia Fields -Riverwoods -Campton Hills -Lincolnwood -Barrington Hills -Indian Creek

The 10 Chicago suburbs with the lowest median incomes: -Phoenix -Harvey -Riverdale -Ford Heights -Godley -Robbins -Markham -Rockdale -Sauk Village -Summit

The 10 Chicago suburbs with the highest median incomes: -Hinsdale -Kenilworth -Kildeer -Winnetka -Long Grove -Riverwoods -Glencoe -Golf -South Barrington -Hawthorn Woods

Is Willie Wilson our Curtis Sliwa?

Chicago hasn't had a good lookalike competition in a while

So sad that Brits can't see Whitexican anymore :(

Most girls are smart and strong and beautiful Most girls work hard, go far, we are unstoppable Most girls, our fight to make every day No two are the same

Failed state.

To fall asleep at night I look at satellite imagery of LA and count all the rooftop helipads

Progressively liking older and older Instagram posts is how I flirt

If I was less ugly I could get so many more followers with thirst traps