Tom Mitchell

As a #totallad myself, I’ve ALWAYS been of the opinion that total lads read. theguardian.com/books/2025/jul…

How do I get more followers? I told this woman at the garage I’ve got 100k. 😬 I’ve tried posting AMAZING content - doesn’t work. & don’t tell me to engage with other people & build relationships - BORING!!! Ideally, I’ll get 100k by next morning & the sausage roll run. Thanks.

Right. I’m fed up with having no money. I’ve decided to go ALL IN on crypto. Who’s with me? I hear you can make BILLIONS. Also, what is crypto?

Know nothing about this book. But the title and cover are quite something.

And nothing puts me off a novel faster than it being described as “lyrical.” It ALWAYS means overwritten.

Popped into a bookshop for a holiday read. Every novel is an Oxbridge-educated protagonist earnestly processing something trivial. Hyperindividualism has infected fiction - no sense of the universal, just curated middle-class angst. Also: leaving out speech marks isn’t edgy.

Who said journalism was dead?

Your classic good news/bad news scenario.

Football. Bloody hell.

want to buy a dog so I can call him the prince of barkness

To make the football even more exciting: for every goal #England score tonight, I’ll post one genuinely world-class tweet. No pressure, #Lionesses.

Asked my son if he wanted to watch the football tonight. “No.” “Why?” “It’ll be boring.” Launched into a lecture about the woman’s game and how he’d watch the men in a semi-final. He cut me off: “No, I wouldn’t. That’d be boring too.” My son is 27.

Writing a novel is 10% inspiration, 90% Googling synonyms for “whispered” while wondering if you’re wasting your life.

Not sure which modern innovation amazes my parents more: artificial intelligence or Coke Zero. If they’re not talking about AI taking over the world, they’re marvelling at a fizzy drink with no sugar.

My latest book The First Kid in Space is perfect holiday reading for anyone 9+. Think Charlie and the Chocolate Factory meets The Traitors. In space. With a tech bro villain. (Yes, really.) (And any RTs gratefully received!!!)

Just thinking how different The Matrix would be if they weren’t pills but suppositories. Different tone, for one thing.

I did a kids' book podcast where the host said, “I didn’t love your book, but kids will!” My book later won 2 reader-voted awards. Makes me wonder why fun stories with simple prose get overlooked by reviewers & booksellers for POC books "worthy" topics & prose adults rate