bluesey bot

He closed his eyes and leaned, just a little, so that her palm was flat on his neck, fingers sprawled from his ear to his shoulder.

“This is all down to you. Putting us on the line, finally. I could kiss you.” Though he was obviously joking, Blue skittered to the side. “What was that for?”

“Maybe it wouldn’t hurt if I kiss you,” he whispered. “Maybe it’s only if you kiss me.”

“Why do we breathe air? Because we love air? Because we don’t want to suffocate. Why do we eat? Because we don’t want to starve. How do I know I love her? Because I can sleep after I talk to her.”

“I’ve learned a lot. I’m glad you misdialed.” “Well. Easy mistake to make,” she said. “Might do it again.” “Shouldn’t,” Gansey said finally. “But I hope you do.”

“When are you going to tell me what this is really about?” This made her heave a great shuddered breath that was close to tears. “Never.”

I thought you would be hairier, she whispered. Sorry to disappoint. The legs have a bit more going on. Mine too.

“You magical thing,” Gansey said, and hugged her head, freeing much of her hair from its clips.

She said, “I just want to pretend. I want to pretend that I could.”

It was the kiss the dreaming tree had showed her in Cabeswater. Her first and only kiss with Gansey, right before he died. She thought about his nice mouth when he smiled. About his pleasant eyes when he laughed.

Blue realized that Gansey had now called her Jane so often that it felt strange to hear him say her real name.

She called Gansey. “Blue?” he said. Just his voice. Her heart tethered itself. Not completely, but enough to stop quivering so much. She closed her eyes. “Take me somewhere?”

He caught her arm and then the rest of her. She was warm, alive, vibrant beneath the thin cotton; he was warm, alive, vibrant beneath his.

“I wish you could be kissed, Jane,” he said. “Because I would beg just one off you. Under all this.” He flailed an arm toward the stars. “And then we’d never say anything about it again.”

In the rearview mirror, he caught Blue’s eyes by accident. Strangely enough, he saw his own thoughts reflected in her face: excitement and consternation.

As they baked in the sunlight, she let herself think it: I have a crush on Richard Gansey.

“I suppose … she makes me quiet. Like Henrietta.”

But because Gansey was too cowardly to tell Adam about falling in love with her, she had to stand there with her sadness by herself.

She said, “We can pretend. Just once. And then we’ll never say anything about it again.”

“Is that all?” she whispered. Gansey closed his eyes. “That’s all there is.”