Barny Boatman

The only time anyone ever says "I like a joke as much as the next person" is when there's a joke they don't like as much as the next person.

I tweeted this a few days ago when Leo was lying 43rd in the field. Although her victory would be the most amazing thing ever, to those who know her, it would also be the least surprising.

I hope everyone who’s been protesting about foreign sex offenders coming over here is heading up to Turnberry right now. ⛳️

I reckon Ozzy Osbourne would have wiped the floor with Hulk Hogan, but I guess now we’ll never know.

I commend option 2, because ‘delay’ is open to interpretation/dispute and may require floor intervention or cause dealer conflict. @SavagePoker

If anyone out there is still defending the genocide, I would question not just your judgment but your humanity.

Someone offered me a job today. A job! Like I’m gonna fall for another of those get-rich-slow schemes.

Heard the one about the cow that got kicked off the farm for not laying enough eggs?

I'm taking a break from tournament poker in order to spend more time with my money.

Rashford in…Boatman out!

The @WSOP was an organisational tour de force, so many huge events, so many players, but an utter piss-take dealer wise. If they don’t sink some of that mega-rake into training and paying uniformly competent staff, it’s a dead brand walking. Not fair on the dealers either.

There is gonna be poker too, right? 😁

Farage set’s out his policing plan, sending out the message that when he’s in charge going about your business will not be tolerated.

The water regulator OFWAT has at last been referred to the sex regulator, OFF-FUCK.

Robert @Peston could stand in the middle of a crowded room, not say a single word, and no one who didn’t know him would realise he’s a complete idiot.

Well, all I’m saying is that eight years from now the Lucky Sevens is *mine*.

Vegas delivered one last beat to the bloke in the next room. His kids put his weed with the trash and the cleaner chucked it.

The overbet to 35 million was to rep AK and get medium pairs to put it in.

I’m rooting too for my teammate Kenny. Representing Belguim, his home town of London, @PokerStars and all the genuinely good guys in the game.

Has the banana lady split too?

I’ve never been a superstitious man, but I’ve run bad all summer and then yesterday I bumped into @Kevmath and slipped him a oner. I went on to have my biggest losing day of the trip. Spooky.