audrey farnsworth

I made a Letterboxd account and I might be doing it wrong but boy am I having a nice time

Big truck just drove by with like a thousand onions in its big basket. What a great situation, I’m glad that’s how onions travel

(At the dentist) may I see your menu

me going to see a movie at a theater past 9pm

the most valuable aspect of a human person is how loud their car sounds

This job email told me today that everyone is hiring. Is that true

me and my team of brilliant scientists will stop at nothing to change history at last by finally putting a hat on a shark

bad paying jobs emailing me: does the contwactor want a wittle more work? would the contwactor like a wittle fishie

(Riding the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland ) this journey is just like my life. almost exactly

When many businessmen rise from their chairs at the same time, it’s truly a sight to see. And that’s just when it’s regular chairs. When they rise, together, from leather chairs? That, friend, is the meaning of life

what if i dedicated my whole life to talking about this DC Comics character

This is a painting of a renaissance noblewoman

Cinnamon Toast Crunch used to be represented by 3 smiling chefs and is now represented by a piece of cereal who is a cannibal

my dream job is annoyed but good hearted and misunderstood mercenary sitting on a throne in a big warehouse waiting for people to approach them to Do A Job. And when someone does, I respond, real pissed off, “and why should I”

as if having some sort of epiphany, my neighbor just shouted “harry potter’s journey” and then there was silence. it’s possible that he disappeared

I love to freelance and it brings me absolutely no anxiety. It does not make me feel like I am on a planet not sustainable for human life