fred

said it before but having two beverages in front of you is for guys three is for girls (too much responsibility for a man)

Yung Lean & Caroline Polachek (2024)

You're supposed to go to the gym regularly so you can lift awkwardly shaped pieces of furniture for your crush

Just ate a turkey sandwich scooby doo/shaggy style and I'm feeling immense shame

Kind of handedly won my arbitration this week

Bro we're casting you out of society

I'm coming to you weird little freak to weird little freak

Once every few years something evil wells up within me and I have to listen to Don't by Bryson Tiller

Just got some blackberry cucumber Lacroixs yeah man who gives a fuck

Ideally you're 50% bark 50% bite

He can't keep getting away with it

Babe you dont understand she only made me that earl grey shortbread as friends

Had to go into the courthouse for a change

Kinda skipped the woe is me and hyper ego eras many men have in their twenties only because I lived out the plot of Biz Markie's Just a Friend when I was 24

Solange is like wow what if there was an endless sea of light in the form of a woman

Having an especially "damn my job is crazy" day

Saw an ass so fat today I had to sit down and I was already sitting down