𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎

If your problem can't be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I'm out of advice.

DO NOT rely on me for directions. I will literally have us two states away, in a cornfield

👇🏻

I just want to be shown off like a fish on a white boy's dating profile.

Good morning y’all

I gotta teach my facial expressions how to use their inside voice.

I'm at the age where too much noise really irritates me

I can finally add visited a bar with bras and money on the wall. Smells exactly as you would expect

Home sweet home. I don’t want anything to do with people for 48 hours 😂

Be with someone you can have indescribably amazing sex with but the conversations about aliens and politics and death are even better

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

See ya later Florida

Good morning y’all

I want to cuddle him until we both fall asleep but i also want him to slam me up against a wall and makeout with me

Morning y’all

Mallory square

Daughter: momma I’m gonna make you rich. I’m getting a mold of your feet so you can sell them