Sgt. Wiggles: Case Files

My old pals from Origin City Police presented me with this bust as a going away present when I left the force. It's displayed pride of place in my kitchen keeping a vigilant watch on the cookie jar...it also makes a great bottle opener! (created by @IsmToys for @0xBuffalo)

🦉Wiggles' Wednesday Wise Words of Wisdom🦉 Pixel Vault's Security Systems are like my pants— taken for granted when they are on and keeping everything contained— But the moment they’re off? Everybody blames Wiggles! 🔒👖

Granny and Granddaddy Wiggles! ❤️ Not sure which one I got my good looks from. 🫡

My co-worker Marv encouraging me to attempt another tactical shoulder roll. Guess he needed the laugh, or the First Aid practice...maybe both. 🫡

Eye on the prize Little Wiggles...🫡 ...that reminds me, I should stop 'donating' to the Origin City Fertility Clinic. Been spotting way too many ankle-biters around the OC who share an uncanny resemblance to yours truly. Eep! 😅

Photo of me, age 3. This was the moment my older sister and I were told the whole family was going to Disneyland. Mom and pop originally told us we were going to the dentist. Damn shame, was really looking forward to that dental checkup. 🦷🫡

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. 🤫🫡 Hope Frank isn't still upset with me. I don't wanna sleep with the fishes...speaking of which, Elvira kisses like a wet halibut. 💋🐟

I don't know anything about art, but I know what I like...and what I don't like is a highfalutin, hoity-toity art critic! 🧐👎 All the taste of a possum in a prom dress! 🫡

This is my co-worker Randy. I love him like a brother, but gee whiz he can be a little intense sometimes. 💊🫡

When my wingnuts start to tingle, criminals start to tremble! No one escapes my Wiggly Lobes of Justice! 👂🫡

My secret mission last week was to scope out NFC Lisbon. PV threw me out of a plane with a camera for aerial surveillance. Eagle-eye Wiggles was on the case! 🦅 Lisbon looked so gosh darn pretty from up here! Unfortunately I held the camera backwards so all I got were selfies. 🫡

🚨 Public Service Announcement! 🚨 The reason our fine community is in disarray is because amongst us are depraved individuals who put mayonnaise on grilled cheese! 🫙🥪😠 I'm making it my mission to hunt down these mayo munchers one by one! Butter will prevail! 🧈🫡

Was talking to a guy online, nice fellow by the name of Chad G. Petey. He sent me these new headshots free of charge...well, the first three were, then he asked me to 'upgrade my plan'. 🤷‍♂️ Anyhoo, gonna frame this up nice and send it to momma! ❤️

📌 NOTE TO SELF: Check first tweet if I get another concussion and forget my name.👇 Randy and Marv are getting sick and tired of reminding me who I am every time I attempt a tactical shoulder roll and land on my head. 🫡

WIGGLES!