Watcher.Buru
@WatcherBuru
Watcher Buru gives you unparalleled, unbiased, parody coverage of all things crypto & finance in real-time.
JUST IN: 🇺🇸 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to introduce legislation requiring 40% tax on unrealized cryptocurrency gains.
⚠️ WARNING: There are fake accounts impersonating us, spreading false reports under our name and many users are falling for this. Please stay vigilant and report/block these accounts.
JUST IN: 🇦🇪 Cryptocurrency scammer Sahil Arora arrested in Dubai, authorities seize over $20M in assets.
JUST IN: 🇺🇸 Former SEC Chairman Gary Gensler to join Blackrock as Chief Crypto Advisor.
BREAKING: No coins have been launched on @boopdotfun in over 48 hours.
BREAKING: Barstool Sports CEO Dave Portnoy receives class action lawsuit over $JAILSTOOL.
🚨 BREAKING: Telegram reports massive data leak, including access to third party bot private keys.
🚨 BREAKING: Binance alpha confirms $SEA (OpenSea) Token Listing for 8/8.
🚨 BREAKING: $PUMP drops below $900M MC, @a1lon9 has not posted in over 36 hours.
BREAKING: Elon Musk says on livestream he owns over $24.5M worth of Fartcoin.
🚨 BREAKING: Garga announces he is leaving Bored Ape Yacht Club, no new CEO named.
🚨 BREAKING: Coinbase halts all withdrawals, citing ‘unexpected system activity.’
BREAKING NEWS: NBA Top Shot announces they are shutting down.
BREAKING NEWS: After receiving RICO Allegations in Federal Court by Burwick Law, PumpFun domain has been seized by the DoJ.
BREAKING: Blackrock to launch EVM L2, Obsidian, later this month.
