King Trout
@The_King_Trout
Millionaire, Entrepreneur, Liar | Cool, jacked werewolf
Learned what a Labubu is today. Thought I was tapping out on pop culture knowledge when I learned who Timothee Chalamett was, but I think I’ve finally settled and decided I’m just gunna be old now.
“Pay us what we deserve” Okay WNBA players. I’m gunna guess you’ll hate getting paid $0. If any WNBA players can physically beat me in a fight I will personally pay the salary of a coal miner who has a real job.
Pre-destined to be rad because I’m the genetic result of people who left Europe 400 years ago because it was gay as fuck on a journey they very well could have died on to land in the wilderness to shoot Indians, become subsistence farmers, and avoid paying taxes.
Had a dream last night I was playing Uno at a casino and I was freaking out because I didn't know what to do since this was my last card:
I can’t wait until they invent a meal prep that isn’t just 7 days worth of ground beef and rice.
“Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!”- a very important guy who will be remembered eternally
Blind-firing under the bed in case there are any monsters under there.
Why does every left-wing dude look the fucking same? It’s so fucking weird.
These couple of weeks at the end of June and beginning of July when the sun sets at like 10pm get my pussy soaking wet.
Blasting YouTube videos at full volume at 2:30am and my wife is pissed because she has to wake up in 4 hours for something called “work.” Idk what that shit is but it sound gay as fuck lol
Don’t worry guys, the people who flew to that pedophile’s sex slave island have assured us that it actually didn’t exist. Everything is perfectly fine. 👍 Nothing ever happens. So it goes.
The more you learn about US history, the more you begin to like JFK and simultaneously realize why they blew a giant fucking hole in the back of his head.
Musk founds the “America Party.” Can’t wait until they kiss the magic Jew wall and give Israel all of our tax dollars.
I miss 15 years ago when pot was shitty yellow ditch-weed mids and wasn’t called shit like “Astronaut Facefucker” that comes in a reflective foil pouch and makes you feel like your flesh is melting off of your bones