Captain Obvious™️
@TheFungi669
As my high IQ followers know, I have never faked a sarcasm.
Yesterday, I took my 21 year old dog to the vet to put her down. I sat in the car with her and cried. She sat on my lap and started licking my face. We turned around and drove back home. It wasn’t time for her to go.
This is a public service announcement for men: Men, if your wife divorces you, I highly recommend you hire Alina Habba to represent your wife.
I was taught to only say good things about people who have died. Hulk Hogan has died. Good.
Trump touched Herman Cain and he died. He touched Rush Limbaugh and he died. He touched Jeffrey Epstein and he died. He touched Hulk Hogan and he died. I’m starting to see a pattern here.
I just got banned from Truth Social after posting this: “Now I know why Melania Trump never lets Trump touch her. #ETTD.”
Trump’s approval numbers are going down faster than Lauren Boebert at a family reunion.
My friend works at the DOJ and he showed me a copy of the Epstein client list. I asked him, “Who dafuq is John Barron?”
Just in: Hulk Hogan has died. Everything Trump touches dies.
Reporter: “Mr. Trump, what do you think about the Epstein situation?” Trump: “Look! A squirrel!”
Trump and Epstein’s secrets are the best kept secrets since Victoria’s Secret.
I don’t know any self-respecting MAGA who wouldn’t let Trump sleep with their daughter.
I’ve always suspected that MAGAs are dumb fucks. But thanks to Twitter I no longer suspect— now I know that it’s true.
Marjorie Greene: “Waiter, my soup is cold!” Waiter: “Ma’am, it’s Gazpacho.” Greene: “Okay. Gazpacho, my soup is cold.”
I miss the days when being a child rapist disqualified you from being president. Ahh, those were good days.
There are many Trump weasels burrowed deep in the federal government. When his term expires we must ferret them out. They are living on burrowed time.