Captain Obvious™️
@TheFungi669
As my high IQ followers know, I have never faked a sarcasm.
Yesterday, I took my 21 year old dog to the vet to put her down. I sat in the car with her and cried. She sat on my lap and started licking my face. We turned around and drove back home. It wasn’t time for her to go.
Reporter: “Mr. Trump, what do you think about the Epstein situation?” Trump: “Look! A squirrel!”
I’ve always suspected that MAGAs are dumb fucks. But thanks to Twitter I no longer suspect— now I know that it’s true.
Epstein may be dead but his files will live forever. #TrumpPedoFiles
I’m old enough to remember when being a convicted felon was disqualifying for being president. But here we are.
I’m old enough to remember when being a pedophile would disqualify you from being president. Those were good days.
Trump paid hush money to a porn star and was convicted of fraud and MAGAs jeered. He’s now going to pardon Epstein’s accomplice in exchange for her silence, which is witness tampering and MAGAs cheered.
Don Jr. is excited about the new Coke. Don Jr: “I’m not addicted to Coke. I just like the way it smells.”
Just in: In an effort to distract from the Epstein scandal, Pam Bondi has launched an investigation into Obama’s tan suit.
Seriously, do you mean to tell me that the guy who got a golden shower from Russian prostitutes is on the Epstein client list? Get dafuq out of here!
I refuse to believe that the guy who was impeached twice and convicted 34 times is on the Epstein client list.
While the Supreme Court in Brazil has ordered Bolsonaro to wear an ankle bracelet, the Supreme Court in the United States wants Trump to wear a crown.
Lauren Boebert: “America doesn’t deserve President Trump.”
Hard to believe that the guy on the Hollywood Tapes is also on Epstein’s client list.
The Epstein files have become the new Hillary emails. Russia, I hope you’re listening.
CNN: With the Epstein scandal, President Trump’s approval numbers are now in the teens.