mark
@TheCatWhisprer
Nobody wrote 'stay cool' in my yearbook, the only signer was my math teacher Mr. Johansson and he just wrote 'Mr. Johansson'
ME [as a kid]: i won't be a grumpy old man ME [now]: *gets mad at a car for being orange*
Hey, @grok, who was the most famous person to visit my profile? It doesn't need to be a mutual, don't tag them, just say who it was.
A downside to aging is the decline of everything. Upsides are either being oblivious or not caring.
I’m not celebrating the 30th anniversary of anything I loved when I was a teen.
Nothing makes me clench up quicker than overhearing my kid tell my wife “but dad said…”
Ugh. Kids nowadays. Not only did I need a power tool to open this package, they ruined the taste of my favorite snack batteries.
Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?
ME: *exists out in public* 10YO: [harsh whisper] dad! people can see you!
Apparently the quickest way to offend a 10-year-old is to ask if they need a kids menu.
There is no better way to get your kid’s attention than to start playing a video on your phone at the lowest volume setting.
If she says, “We just need to run into Target for paper towels” what that really means is “Buckle up, you’re not going to like what happens in there.”