Red Sox Quotes
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BREAKING: #RedSox issue polarizing statement regarding the Aramark employee strike, with John Henry saying “At this point, fuck it. Bring your own liquor …. You people are peasants and idiots anyway.”
BREAKING: Per @Sean_McAdam, a Jarren Duran for Don Orsillo swap has been “heavily discussed” and many within the industry expect a deal to get done. An unconventional trade will bring Boston’s beloved broadcaster home. Bombshell. #RedSox #Padres #MLB
BREAKING: #Yankees Jazz Chisholm Jr. reveals his struggles of having a micropenis per @KutterIsKing “When you’re working with this little, you gotta act big”
Padres executives have reported that GM AJ Preller has introduced a “goon room” in their front office where he enters, watches Jarren Duran highlights, and doesn’t emerge for “hours.” Colleagues are reportedly concerned for Preller’s mental health. #RedSox #Padres #MLB
“We just told Tanner it was a ‘mental reset,’ right?” said Alex Cora. “He’ll figure out it’s a gulag when he sees the wolves.” #RedSox
Tonight’s pitching matchup consists of a Cy Young candidate (Walker Buehler) vs some bum #RedSox #Phillies
Sources have confirmed that #RedSox catcher Connor Wong’s name is “everywhere” on the classified Epstein list. @ColeyMick tells us that Wong’s alleged involvement with the sex crimes was the reason for the Red Sox’ visit to the Oval Office several weeks ago.
Reporting with @LiamFennessy_: On Tuesday, David Hamilton opened up on his struggles this season, citing frequent “loose stool,” saying “it’s hard to turn two when you’re constantly on the verge of going number two.”
🚨 BREAKING: The #RedSox have traded OF Roman Anthony to the #Orioles in exchange for pitcher Charlie Morton, sources confirm. Per @KutterIsKing, Boston will also send Kristian Campbell, Payton Tolle, and cash to Baltimore. Stunning. Breslow strikes again.
