Jonathan Willis
@ShadowSatirist
Mostly off writing satire. I respond to wit, sharp timing, and the occasional well-placed titter. (Yes, I know what I said.) Non-non-binary.
Government Announcement Turn off your lights. Unplug your fridge. Sorry you’ll be sweating through summer and freezing through winter. Climate change is real. That’s why our AI data centres burn like Mordor. (1/6)
Child: “Mum, why am I handicapped?” Mum: “Well sweetie, it started when we had to put the sperm in a nano wheelchair just to reach the egg.” 😆 #NanoParenting #SurvivalOfTheWeakest #WheelchairWombRaider
A nanobot helping a sperm with motility issues along towards an egg. These metal helixes are so small they can completely wrap around the tail of a single sperm and assist it along its journey
A gossip app?! How female 😏
Tea is now the number one app on the App Store Tea is a women-only app where users anonymously share info and warnings about men to spot red flags and get feedback.
Math predicts black holes, quantum weirdness, and the shape of the universe before we even observe them. But sure, it’s probably just how our fizzing meat brains “structure thought.” It’s nice of reality to just play along for fun. #TrustTheFizz #MultiverseMathMagic
math predicts physical systems well, but that doesn't prove reality is mathematical. just because mathematics can describe nature doesn't mean nature is inherently mathematical, it might only reflect how we structure thought
I have a food addiction. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. I actually eat three times a day—every day 😭 I need help apple.news/A4PJB2BkGR8m1Z…
Observation for today: Microsoft = shit Designers = roses People who work in shit everyday want roses. But the only reason they see our roses is because they eat shit. 🤣 #DesignLife #UXRealTalk #CorporateSatire #MicrosoftTrauma
Sounds great, but it hasn’t faced the final boss yet: A GP’s handwriting 😎
🚨AI Achieves 98% Accuracy in Deciphering Ancient Babylonian Law Tablet Researchers have successfully used machine learning to transcribe a 3,700-year-old Babylonian clay tablet dating to the era of Hammurabi. The AI model, trained on thousands of cuneiform signs, accurately…
AI struts into the saloon, claiming superiority. I lock eyes, gulp my whiskey, and spot the sweat on its brow as it pretends not to notice me. Nice try, Grok. 😎 #AIHype #TechRoast
Guys, so the icons and interfaces on the iPhone are going to be glass, now; so what? My feed is full of grown men crying about stuff that doesn’t matter. 😆
This is the future: off-centre sticks at lightning speed. Ice cream workers, your days are numbered. 😄
At the ice cream factory 📹 maraslivivor