Tim Vine

Rocker ‘Brella Fella. Saturday August 30th . princecharlescinema.com/film/31617125/…

Just bought a new album. He’s going to be the next big thing apparently.

My favourite ever footballer. Had the pleasure of meeting him at Sutton United. Still think we should sign him. Get well soon Gazza. #Gazza

A few Tickets are still available for TIM VINE as PLASTIC ELVIS at The CryerArts Centre, Carshalton. LIVE with The High Noon Band. ticketsource.co.uk/whats-on/carsh…

Anyone else from the 90s comedy scene hear Liam Neeson tell the manslaughter joke and think ‘That’s a Chris and George joke’? It was a long time ago but I remember it very well. Great joke. Great act. #comedians

If cash ever gets banned they’ve got us.

The lawn comb-over.

All the experts told AJ ‘he needs to let his hands go’ so he did and Dubois knocked him out. Then they said the same thing to Dubois and he did and Usyk knocked him out. The moral is don’t do Boxing.

If I mow one strip of my lawn each day it would probably end up looking like a graded haircut because the grass would keep growing. The last strip would be the shortest and it would go up from there. The trouble is I’ve ruined the experiment by cutting this strip in the middle.

The first time I heard him on Talksport I was immediately a fan. RIP

I played a bit of drums too and I peaked with the fill at the beginning. Blockheads bassist Norman on the right. Legend. Go and see this show if you can. A brilliant night and a different guest at the end of every show.

Honoured to play guitar (mercifully low in the mix) at the end of the Brilliant Wilko Johnson play last night at the Leicester Square Theatre. Everyone was fantastic in it. And a special thrill to meet Norman Watt Roy the Blockheads incredible bassist .

You have one more week to go and see this brilliant show.

Usyk never gets hit on the jaw. How does he do that? I mean it’s NEVER.

I see the electorate have broken up today.

Someone started singing this in the wrong key and the whole team followed. 😃

Dear Nature experts, Why is this caterpillar swinging around under a Willow Tree?

Lovely view from this train but a little repetitive.

‘Great places to dangle a conker.’ No.47.

Happy birthday Jeffrey!

I’ll wait until the weather improves then I’ll do some more.