Kate Melvin
@RealKateMelvin
True Crime junkie. Where sarcasm and Southern charm collide. Funny and Autistic. Wife. I don't respond to DM's. I unfollow bots/porn. SATIRE.馃嚭馃嚫
馃檮I'm the weird autistic one but my husband was the one that sent our daughter a video after asking if she wanted to see the ninth circle of hell. It's just a video of him spinning in circles in our front yard until the heat made him puke.馃槖
It is too early for my Mother-in-law to be tripping balls.... 馃檮I should have known we my husband met me in the driveway when I got home it was going to be bad. 馃槖
Good morning, y'all! Happy Monday. Have a great one. Love ya! 馃グ馃嚭馃嚫
If I have to listen to my husband sing "I will always love you" (the only line he knows) in falsetto one more f*cking time like someone ran over his balls with a roller skate, I'm going to lose my shit.
Good morning, y'all! Happy Saturday. Love ya! 馃グ馃嚭馃嚫
People get with your ex and swear you're jealous. No, Sweetie...It's your turn to be traumatized.
Is there Pre-Workout I can take for being social or is that just cocaine? 馃珷
Good morning y'all! Happy Friday. Have a great one. Love ya! 馃馃嚭馃嚫
"The f*ck is that!?" Is the name I give 98% of summer insects.
Good morning, y'all! Happy Thursday. It looks like day drinking and podcasting are in my future, lol. Love ya! 馃グ馃嚭馃嚫
Me after my husband let's me get everything in my Amazon cart:
