Pakicetus
@PakicetusAdapts
you will regret this pakicetus you will have to adapt
millennials were just mealworms thrown into the koi pond of feeding therapists
schizophrenics often feel misunderstood at parties so i always reassure them “they’re going to get you”
in france, restaurants have the same customer service as the nhs does in the uk
i don’t use a base for my number system i just keep making new symbols for the numbers
whenever i fall out with a women i rub a BPA receipt all over my body to maximise empathic estrogens
“getting my ducks in a row” why would you make them argue? there’s no reason for them to have a row
university is popular because it’s the only way to live in a community of your own social class before you have money
how old were you when you realised Flava Flav named himself after the Flavian dynasty?
sprinkling crushed SSRI's on the spider web in my downstairs loo because his fly yield is down and he's doing negative self talk again
birds must be tempted in moments of madness to just splat themselves
lettuce wife: uhh, kiddo i think it’s time to pack up the beach things, that tortoise is getting close now lettuce husband: ah c’mon we’ve got time!
the British should have called singapore croonapore or even warbleapore
in the land of the blind, the one eyed man would be usurped in a convulsion of memetic envy and replaced by unstable blind caretaker governments
