PISS NUKES

Unplugging the baby monitor to plug in my vape

No one is more persecuted than the 5’9 man pretending to be 5’10

12 pack of Busch hit my hand like mjolnir and the other hand hit my bitch wife

You have lost, for I have already established myself as the wily inked up octopus and you as the easily fooled moray eel

I’m fuckin on your bitch and showin her my electric mower

I tried this once and now I’m no longer allowed in or around the van buren theatre

I love women who tolerate me

Oomf is beautiful and you all have to guess who it is

She only followed back cause she’s ovulating

I graduated to sober cigs because I want emphysema

Told me they were out of Baja blast and I said what the fuck are you good for

I swear girls like me

Doing my daily affirmations: You are smart You are capable No one can hear you sniffing in the bathroom

This is a lie

Why is the octopus there

British way of saying everyone hates me

Walking out of the house in my boy lingerie