Normal Island News
@NormalIslandNws
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BREAKING: David Lammy says he is appalled and sickened by what Israel doing in Gaza with the weapons and intel he is giving them. If only he could do something about this...
BREAKING: Outrage as Belgium decides Israelis are not, in fact, above international law 😡
BREAKING: I must bring you the sad news that food poisoning is suffering from Benjamin Netanyahu. Let's all pray for the food poisoning 🙏
BREAKING: A female pensioner wielding a sign killed 73 civilians as they queued for aid today... Hang on, I'm being told that was actually the IDF. Forget I said anything, it's fine x
Stunning scenes as three heroic police officers risk their lives tackling this terrifying terrorist. We can only pray the officers survived this confrontation with a tiny elderly woman 🙏
BREAKING: Israel has accidentally gunned down civilians queuing for food for the 57th day in a row. Don't worry, they're investigating and look forward to finding themselves not guilty x
BREAKING: Counter-terrorism police have announced new guidelines, clarifying members of the following groups are to be treated as terrorists: - retired priests - retired barristers - retired head teachers - readers of Private Eye you have been warned x
BREAKING: Counter-terrorism police have explained that anyone holding up a Private Eye article faces up to 14 years in prison. I'm so glad they're saving us from terrorists ♥️
BREAKING: Police have identified 81-year-old former magistrate, Deborah Hinton, as the latest head of Hamas UK. She outed herself at a protest by holding up a sign opposing genocide x
This is not a suspicious thing to say. Not at all 👀
I honestly don't know why people are still giving Trump a hard time. If you ask me, he's every bit as innocent as Prince Andrew ♥️
Huge congratulations to Camilla whose long list of academic achievements include having an affair with a married man and later marrying that man when his first wife was bumped off. She's such a girl boss ♥️ x.com/aberdeenuni/st…
We would like to wish Her Majesty the Queen and Chancellor of the University of Aberdeen our very best wishes on her birthday. #ABDNfamily @RoyalFamily
BREAKING: Sir Keir Starmer has explained he had no choice but to suspend Diane Abbott because a woman of her colour should not be lecturing white people on racism 👀