MoonPie

I've got a lot in common with MoonPies for example I think it would feel freakin amazing to get microwaved for 12 seconds

Say what you will but I think pi day should be a company holiday for anyone who makes pies or uses mathematics or potentially both if they are accountants

Effective immediately

A MoonPie can be your friend or it can be your enemy and trust me, you do not want it to be your enemy Jimmy should still be here

Shoutout to my boss who mostly ignores my existence and doesn't notice all the DMs I haven't responded to

Thanks for the content boss man

I think a part of me always knew alien life would be discovered in the great state of New Jersey

Lol same

This tweet is the only work I'm doing between now and 2025 if everything goes according to plan

You don't know fear until you've been alone in the MoonPie factory at night when they start hissing

Scroll for a fun lunar fact ! 🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 Astronauts on the Apollo mission left human waste on the moon to make room for rock samples :(

The moon has released a statement:

Are you the sun Because I'd prefer it if you stayed 93.438 million miles away from me

Let me feed him

Please enjoy this helpful astrology guide

Father twitter I am begging you please let me stick a MoonPie on this thing

Farewell MoonPie child

Ok SunnyD

When your boss makes you work during the eclipse lol

In case you have clouds during the eclipse today this is pretty much what you’re missing