Lloyd Legalist
@LloydLegalist
Pastor of the world’s slowest growing church.
You. Me. Tomorrow. Poopdown at high noon. Let’s DO this!
Imagine being an employee at a company that has NEVER turned a profit and showing up to work in these shirts. #WNBA #WNBAAllStarWeekend
Aww…remember that time little Lizzy sent Papa to the ER?
Our church sign this weekend. #Inspiration #encouragingquote
[At job interview] Interviewer: “Do you have a police record?” Me: “No, but I do have a few of their albums on cassette.” *hires me instantly
Have you seen these Japanese hamster breads? They’re made to match the size and look of actual hamsters. I’d love to load up my pockets with a few of them, walk into PetSmart and just start munching on one in front of everyone.
"You know, people wouldn't kill other people if we banned guns!" People before guns:
Who decided to call them “labor contractions” and not “birthquakes”?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "shutup" but they're not even speaking.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.