Tommy J, Dadbod Supermodel
@JerseyFreshest
NJ fresh, retired from marriage, Gen X AF, compliment fisherman, comedy writer, Cuse, Jets, NYY, NYK, 2X stroke survivor, LOL MVP, ⚽️ Dad, lemonade maker, lefty
The Easter Bunny realizing how much each basket is gonna cost now due to Trump’s tariffs

I’m sure the Iron Sheik was waiting for Hulk Hogan at the gates of Heaven if only to tell Saint Peter, “HEY BUBBA, FUCK THE HULK HOGAN JABRONI! NO HEAVEN FOR THAT DUMB SON OF A BITCH!
Suddenly, I now want Stephen A. to run for President. I didn’t before, but now I *VERY MUCH* do
ESPN reportedly nearing deal to potentially acquire NFL Network, Red Zone ow.ly/JLX9106gFau
Earlier today, the Trump admin released 230,000 documents on the #MLK files This is wonderful news for my future great grandchildren who are now guaranteed to see the #EpsteinFiles in the year 2083
Heritage Foundation Founder Edwin J. Feulner has died. In lieu of flowers, his family kindly requests that you call ICE on three Latinos
I think I speak for all Americans when I ask, “Why couldn’t it have been Jimmy Fallon?” 😉 #Colbert #ColbertCanceled
My ex and I broke up after she got caught cheating on me at a Pearl Jam concert. To this day, she dreams in color, she dreams in red… Can't find a better man… She lies and says she still loves him… Can't find a better man #Coldplay
The president has been diagnosed with a serious medical condition known as Chronic Venous Insufficiency. This tells me that our prayers are working, but we’ll have to pray a bit harder. We can do this, guys!!!
You just know that if Trump croaks from this Chronic Venous Insufficiency, The GOP is gonna “Weekend at Bernie’s” him around the world for as long as they can

“Chronic Venous Insufficiency” - New band name, I called it!!!
Everyone rushing to WebMD to see if Chronic Venous Insufficiency is fatal #TrumpEpsteinCoverup
At this point, anyone still doing mental gymnastics to defend Trump has to admit that they simply hate Latinos, blacks and gays more than they hate pedophiles #epstiengate #EpsteinTrumpCoverUp #EpsteinFiles
When told of the rumors that he can actually see, Stevie Wonder replied, “If I could see, do you *really* think I’d have banged all those ugly women in the 70s & 80s? I’m Stevie-Fucking-Wonder!”
Donald Trump said he’s surprised Jerome Powell was appointed as Fed Chair This wouldn’t be news if Donald Trump himself didn’t appoint Jerome Powell as Fed Chair Say it with me now… DEMENTIA
As to be expected, Aaron Boone was totally out managed in whatever that All-Star Game tie-breaker swing off was #MLBAllStarGame2025
O’Neil Cruz is a fun player to watch. I can’t wait for him to be on the Yankees in a few years 😉 #HomeRunDerby
TRUMP: When I’m elected, I will release the Epstein files MAGA: Yes!!! We must protect the children! TRUMP: Actually, there are no Epstein files. Who knew? 🤷♂️ MAGA: (collectively rushing to move the goalposts) Can we stop talking about Epstein and just move on already?
Someone buy this soccer fan a beer for giving Trump the finger in front of literally hundreds of millions of people watching on TV around the world at the #FIFAClubWorldCup2025 Final 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

“Dear America, Please excuse Donald from presenting the Epstein Files as he hasn’t been feeling well this week. I’m sure that when he feels better, he’ll get them out right away. Thank you in advance. Sincerely, Epstein’s Mother”

Bill Clinton when he learned that the DOJ has officially closed the Esptein case - And that Epstein did not possess a client list

Tim Ream said he plans to give his Gold Cup runner-up medal to his grandson... probably tomorrow