Always the Jake
@JacobsFieldRBW
Unpredictable mix of satire, Guardians analysis, and random thoughts. If you’re looking for an account that sticks to sports, look elsewhere. Tweets by AJ Baez.
BREAKING: In light of the news about Luis Ortiz, FanDuel has issued a statement. “We are saddened that a player has compromised the integrity of MLB. To spread awareness, we are offering a $100 bonus bet when you bet $100 on a first pitch tonight. Use promo code INVESTIGATION45”
Happy Gilmore 2 is good. Very good, even. We can all collectively breathe a sigh of relief.
The Tigers are not as good as they appeared to be earlier this season. But they are nowhere near as bad as they appear to be right now. Over the next week, the Guardians have to play like their playoff hopes depend on it. This will be their best chance to close the gap.
Well look who won another trade
BREAKING: The Seattle Mariners are acquiring first baseman Josh Naylor from the Arizona Diamondbacks, sources tell ESPN.
If Austin Hedges bats in the 9th I will be performing a citizen’s arrest on everyone in the Guardians’ organization.
I find I can always predict whether or not the Guardians are winning simply based on the mood of the timeline.
The Cleveland Guardians have 7 games remaining against Kansas City (4-2). A three-game sweep this weekend secures them a tiebreaker (if needed) The same goes for Minnesota (4-2). Copy paste above, except three game sweep Aug 1-3 next weekend does the trick.
Guards remaining games vs WC Contenders (AL East and West) NYY: 0 (3-3 split) SEA: 3 (down 0-3) BOS: 3 (1-2 -- need sweep for tiebreaker) TB: 7 (None played) TEX: 6 (None played)
Mama always said a Logan Allen start is like a box of chocolates.
How about eight
Oh no our division lead might only be 14 games what ever will we do!
See you April 21st 2026, @cdlenthusiast
Guardians prospect Chase DeLauter underwent surgery today for a fractured hamate bone in his right hand/wrist. He’s expected to miss 6-8 weeks.
I don’t want to jinx anything, but in the extremely unlikely event that the Tigers collapse, the Twins sell at the deadline, and the Guardians somehow win the division this year I will be insufferable beyond reason with the phrase “the AL Central runs through Cleveland” for YEARS
I’m proposing we institute a “trade proposal license” that you have to obtain before you’re allowed to post your trade proposal ideas online. This would make social media a better place.
Good morning, Jose Ramirez is a Guardian and nobody can take that away from you.
>Goes on Jubilee >Says he wants to use autocratic power to punish opposing political party >Is fired >Bemoans political discrimination
The literal fascist who got exposed on Jubilee has been fired from his job. Love that for him.
Tigers’ division lead is now single digits
went from double digits to double digits
Several kids could be heard shouting “overrated” at Cade Smith as he blew a 98 MPH fastball right by Cedric Mullins for strike three.