Heimish Humor
@HeimishHumor
"When I go outside, it feels like everyone staring and judging me and a bunch of people dislike me for no reason and it almost feels like everyone's against me. Am I paranoid?" "I warned you that would happen if you start wearing a kippa."
If you ever wondered how to do Birkas Kohanim with four fingers.
Document: "I want to convert to PDF." Rabbi: "Are you aware of the accessibility problems and content-related challenges PDFs have had to endure throughout their difficult history?"
The good thing about shidduchim in an out of town community is when your date says, "I don't know, where do You wanna eat?" it's no problem cuz there's literally just one kosher restaurant in town.
It's funny how Maimonides and Nachmanides were two of the greatest Torah scholars in history and yet their parents were like, "That's great, but you better become a medical doctor too."
Since the USA and its allies invaded Iraq in 2003, the Christian population was reduced from 1.5 million to around 150,000 today. Thousands killed. Countless churches destroyed. But when the IDF accidentally hits a church in Gaza after 2 years of fighting? Those evil Jews!!!
I felt good today when my rabbi told me I had an old soul, until I realized he was talking about my shoe.
There's always that one person in shul who really doesn't like you but you have no idea why.
You can't kill an ideology. For every one fighter you eliminate, five new recruits rise in their place. War won't solve this. We're just going to have to negotiate with Hitler and come up with a two-state solution where we divide Europe between the Nazis and the Allies.
It takes about 7 seconds to convert to Christianity, 10 seconds to convert to Islam, and at least 62 million seconds to convert to Judaism.
