Dave Kemp
@HappyTigerMan
I like living. Pro whimsy.
The big canine growls as I stop scratching his silky underbelly. “My hands are tired” “Should’ve thought before disgracing my ancestors by entering me in that damn dog show,” the werewolf snarled. “We won the Westminster Legend Trophy!” “Keep scratching.” #satsplat #Revenge
Four years. It seems like an eternity. And the people I joined to follow are mostly gone. I am an ammonite. A squib.
The Wardome quiets. Invasion Phobia: “I was born when coach made him strip to shower.” Fear of Abandonment growls. Fear of the Dark: “I’m oldest. Rats wanted to chew him as a baby.” The host of voices in his head howl together and battle is rejoined. #satsplat #GreatBattles
“Why do you have a banana cream pie?” “How do you build tension?” “Bad diet, no exercise, drink a lot, smoke, get fat, stress. Do you want me to eat that freaking pie?” “Not that kind of tension.” “Put that pie down!” **SPLAT!** “Chekhov’s pie.” #satsplat #BuildingTension
When I was a teenager I loved Perry Rhodan. Maybe because it went on and on and on?
So. I was cleaning today. Moving books out of three bookcases into one bookcase and boxes and stumbled upon this gem. It took me a minute or two to realize it was about sex.
“You know what’s great about fantasy technology?” “What?” “Jewels. Jewels are on everything. Or jewels are the tech. Like the Silmarils.” “There’s a harmony in beauty that resonates through reality.” “I just want my car studded with emeralds.” #satsplat #FantasyTechnology
“I told you mine. Tell me yours.” “It’s embarrassing.” “Irrational fears are.” “Ugh. I fear I’ll be abducted on the back of a gazelle.” “Not irrational.” “What!?!” “Happened to my cousin Sophronia just last week. The Antelope Axis went militant.” #satsplat #IrrationalFear
“You know what real horror is?” “No. What?” “Being the only sane person in the world of the insane.” “Doesn’t that by definition make you insane?” “I guess it all depends on whether you believe in absolutes or not.” “I’m not sure I do.” “Oh. I know.” #satsplat #Horror
Was it right for the Tendril Secundus of the Golden Diaspora to labor? No. We tweaked a local species instead. They changed. Too much. Now I, the last of us, have sealed my sarcophagus and stitch my lacy wings into a shroud as I sing my final dirge. #satsplat Adapt & Overcome
Life carves its poetry into my flesh one line at a time. Broke my nose and put my teeth through my lower lip. Slashed my left wrist. Perforated my belly with surgery. The list goes on. My body bears the poem that life writes on us all: “This person lived.” #satsplat #Poetry
Played Cootie with my mom tonight. She thrashed me soundly. I couldn’t roll a 6 to save my life. When I was putting the game away I realized we’d lost one of the antennae. Looked high and low. It must have ended up in the place that takes a nibble of all things. #satsplat #Family
“You changed.” “You noticed.” “What is it?” “Two things. First, I always had to be a hero, right?” “Yeah.” “I grasped that in some stories I’ll be the villain. I had to accept it. It hurt me.” “And the second?” “I realized I really, really like it.” #satsplat #Villains
You gave me a tiny-tiny gray kitten with moon-pale eyes. But he grew. Ate my other pets. And grew. Ate my mother and grandmother. And grew. Enormous, he curls around the house having eaten the rest of my life. My heart beats in time with his purr. #satsplat #LoveAndRomance
The scaphopods sing. A contrapuntal aria splits the cloud of clove cigarette smoke. In the Duchess’s gut there’s a stir, then a shriek. The soprano burrows out, its captacula slick with bile and vengeance. The hollow shell on the plate welcomes it home. #satsplat #Resurrection
The Duchess sits alone at a corner table reading a novel covered in red morocco. All noblesse, no oblige. In their tank, the scaphopods sing a dirge. She picks delicately at one of them on a Wedgewood plate with a silver, two-tined fork. A steamed soprano. #satsplat #Isolation
The fog is thick at the docks. Sitting on a pier, toothpick dangling in the corner of my mouth, I stare out at the water I can’t see. A foghorn lows mournfully as sarcastic waves slap the pilings. Waiting, I wonder who, or what, is coming to the rendezvous. #satsplat #FilmNoir
I’d catch the bus to the Viewmont Mall early to get an Orange Julius. They were great in the 80s. They’re not the same now. I went to see the movie “Xanadu”, first movie I ever saw over and over again. Eleven times. It seemed likely Heaven was a roller disco. #satsplat #1980s
The Exeters love to entertain. Burghley House is known for lavish parties and odd disappearances. The hidden shrine flushes more alive with the blood of each sacrifice. A tentacle twitched today. Say what you like, no one ever suspects an upstairs maid. #satsplat #Horror