WI Area Garfield Fan Club 🐈

If horses don't go to heaven, then a cowboy like me yearns for damnation

If you want to unfurl a mystery, you need more than the mind of a gangsta. You also need the heart of a lion.

I live my life avoiding gamer rage. Just don't game. And the rage will not find you

I've watched Finding Nemo one million times in my life. Because when I was a boy, every teacher I ever had felt like they needed to show this movie to their class. What if a dad was a fish? And a clown? The imagination reels

If I was Violet Beauregard I'd be so big and blue. I'd be rolling

God please give me a husband I be hornny

Mr ed was horse. He was a bastard. And he was a better man than you'll ever have known

I've got schmutz all over my goddamn pants

Ever since I was a boy, I've always dreamed of Chinese prosperity.

Bro's diaped up and he steps to me talking about "pull me finger." No man. I don't play those kinds of games with you.

You can just make a submarine sandwich for breakfast if you want. Who gives a shit man

I have a horrible completely destroyed white undershirt that I still wear as an undershirt because it doesn't matter when it's under a shirt. But I just worry I'll get hit by a car and the medics will have to take my shirt off and be shocked at the grotesque display under there.

If I'm reflecting honestly on myself, I think I would make a terrible street vendor

I'm bringing back "boom diggity"

My enemies are claiming I "tweet about smurf pussy" but this is absolute slander

Milou tie

It's important to periodically become obsessed with a different Mountain Goats song. Currently it's Orange Ball of Love

I heard somebody's planning a freak-off at the Oconomowoc Labubu Festival

Check out the Bastille Days haul

They say midas touched on him. That's why he's golden

I do not thrive in a high humidity environment