Fletch
@FletchReports
Irwin M. Fletcher. Investigative reporter for Jane Doe. I write things. I ask questions. Mostly inappropriate ones. Parody account, but you knew that.
If you're curious why I created an account. Well, Twitter didn't exist in 1985 and TBH we could really use the laughs today. RT if you agree
Worried about the workforce? I'm taking action. Here’s my latest article on Jane Doe. This could be my best work yet, despite Frank's opinion.
“You’ll be wearing rubber gloves…do you own rubber gloves?” “I rent em. I have a lease with an option to buy“
Now Hulk Hogan? What the hell is going on. Are we certain they’re not just extremely sleepy?
Ozzy lived like a man who knew the Underhills were picking up the tab. Rest in peace, Prince of Darkness.
It is with more sadness than mere words can convey that we have to report that our beloved Ozzy Osbourne has passed away this morning. He was with his family and surrounded by love. We ask everyone to respect our family privacy at this time. Sharon, Jack, Kelly, Aimee and…
Some men leave legacies. I leave aliases and a very confused dry cleaner.
Your reminder to not take life too seriously. Trust me, there’s nothing that a Bloody Mary, a steak sandwich, and a steak sandwhich can’t fix.
This Fourth of July, take a few moments to enjoy your beverage and remember Fred "The Dorf” Dorfman, who unfortunately recently succumbed to a flare-up of syphilis.
Wishing Marvin Stanwyk a Happy Father’s Day today, since his son won't be.
Rest in peace, George Wendt, AKA Fat Sam. Thanks for all the free junk.
Happy Mother’s Day to all moms, especially Velma Stanwyk! P.S.. Sorry about your asshole son.
The real ones don’t use sportsbook apps when there are so many decent off-track betting options in the Himalayas. Smaller story, but I know you’ve been following it. #Kentuckyderby2025
Check the bypass line on the Fetzer valve, and order 10 quarts of antifreeze, preferably Prestone…no, Quaker state.
A plane landed at Riviera Country Club today. 😳
We need new parents to consider Fletch aliases as potential names for their newborns. The world needs to hear "John Coctostan" get drafted in the 2046 NFL draft. #NFLDraft2025
Time to use the service entrance.
Education Department will begin collection next month on student loans that are in default, including garnishing of wages for potentially millions of borrowers, officials said Monday abc7.la/44mDZ6z