Unruly Heather Marulli
@FixedAirHeather
🔮Writer, stand up, busy businesswoman🔮Seen on @ComedyCentral & @RoastBattle 💅🏼 @UnrulyPodcast [email protected]
Argued with a man today who tried to say there’s a wage gap because women don’t do “important” jobs like men do, such as “building skyscrapers or repairing roads”. Does this man build skyscrapers or repair roads?? No, he does the most important job of all time…stand up comedy
Hot Take: the most dangerous cult in America is no longer Scientology and it’s the one our President leads
I really want to like Tom Cruise because he's such an engaging actor but he's also single-handedly bankrolling the most dangerous cult in America. Their membership has gone off a cliff and they should be bankrupt by now, and it's an open secret that Cruise is keeping it afloat.
You know things are bad when you’re really looking forward to seeing Now You See Me 3
I’m so old that I just heard people doing coke in the bathroom and I wanted to knock on the stall door and tell them to stop before they end up five months behind on rent like someone I know (maybe me!!!)
Seeing men crying about the Tea app saying that women will say that they’re “short” or that they “have a small dick.” Were you planning on pretending to not be short? Faking having a big dick? What exactly is the play here?
A fun game I like to play while stuck in LA traffic is guessing where everyone is going. Some of my frequent top guesses are court, a pop up for a Hulu show, or to buy drugs
I was feeling extremely depressed and I got up and went to the gym and worked out and now I feel incredible. Unfortunately must report that endorphins work
I'm gonna need yall to to stop saying "she looks like this because she had babies" because I look like this and I had 0 babies. it's called being sexy
Jennifer Love Hewitt is the moment at the 2025 #IKnowWhatYouDidLastSummer premiere
The Coldplay affair lovers are exactly what we needed at this time in the Zeitgeist. Amazing cultural moment bringing us all together
Damn I don’t think he can gaslight his way out of this one!!
Trump on Epstein files: It is a hoax started by Democrats and run by Democrats for four years. You had Christopher Wray and Comey before him… It’s all been a big hoax perpetrated by Democrats. Some stupid Republicans fall into the net
Pregnancy and giving birth are life threatening events
It's funny how after the birth of a baby, announcers declare that "mother and baby are doing fine". What about the father??
Went to an open mic last night and one of my biggest haters was there, doing material I had heard them do pre-pandemic. They also left immediately after their set. When you’re right, you’re right
This show had me rolling from start to finish
With 23 nominations, Seth Rogen’s ‘THE STUDIO’ is now the most nominated freshman comedy in Emmys history, breaking the record previously held by ‘TED LASSO.’
One thing I love is how I shared an idea I had with someone, they told me that it was silly, and then they proceeded to implement the exact idea I had. It worked out for them, which makes it even worse!!
We don't care what religion anyone is...or if they've one at all. We love all sound cunts. Smiling and signing bombs dropped to murder kids and other people's families just makes you a straight up cunt. Simple as. Free Palestine 🇵🇸