Ian Fiveankles
@Fiveankles
Former Professional Football Player Turned Current Pundit.
England! The Lionesses did us proud. England is on the map of European football again. Greggs legally have the status of cathedrals. Football has come home. And it’s earned the right to sit on the sofa watching “Homes Under The Hammer” for another four years.
Lionesses through to the final. You just cannot write this script. But if you did you would have Chloe Kelly winning it right at the death. But you cannot write that. #englandwomen
There is not enough money in top level football so I hope that Chelsea winning the Club World Cup will put some pennies in the coffers at Stamford Bridge. Their new Trump-flavoured mascot should help.
Every amazing moment in this incredible test match is instantly ruined by that f*cking Dachshund and his “funny” comments. #EnglandVIndia
Was at Lords today. Mainly to check out the football warm ups. England playing 2-1-1 formation with Bashir in goal. Then Stokes bazballed it into 3-1-1 with rush goalie. Impressive. There was also some cricket played.
The Lionesses absolutely imperial against The Netherlands this evening. Exactly the same as when the men beat them 4-1 at Euro 96. Except the scoreline is different.
Bloody Colin from Portsmouth. . .
"Jeremy Corbyn starting a new party? Who is he? Oliver Cromwell? He might as well be standing over King Prince Charles and Diana II and urinating on them! That's how much he hates our country!" Colin from Portsmouth on Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana's new party.
Not sure he should be a knight of the realm given his foul-mouthed outburst on live TV not so very long ago.
BREAKING NEWS: Gareth Southgate clearly rattled by the question here but did he have to use such strong language?
Mark's been messing about with AI image generation. . .
Liverpool paying £166m for Wirtz. We've come a long way since my mum (who was my agent at the time) got two hundred quid and a year's supply of wagon wheels for me to play for Dover Athletic.
A more 'spursy' thing to have done would be to give Ange the first 45 minutes of the first game of the season and sack him at half time.
Spurs have done it! Staggering over the line like a 90 year old marathon runner who’s had a few. Spurs 1 Man Utd 0 Quality Football 0 Champions League Football awaits. Astonishing.
It’s an onslaught of terrifying proportions* from Man Utd. Spurs really hanging on here. *as terrifying as a toddler blowing raspberries from the window of a stationary bus.
United choosing to “shoot at goal” all of a sudden. They might be on to something.
Man Utd probably need more than hope, nostalgia and Bruno Fernandes if they’ve going to get anything from this game.