Fake KDKA News
@Fake_KDKA
The first and only account to parody the news. *No affiliation with KDKA or its affiliated affiliates*
Aaron Rodgers disappointed by turnout for Ayahuasca ceremony at Sharky’s. More at 11.
Swissvale man treats others the way he wants to be treated, leaves them the hell alone. More at 11.
Robinson man who never saw original “Happy Gilmore” struggling to follow complex plot of sequel. More at 11.
“She’s not breathing in there,” says Pam Bondi following DOJ interview with Ghislaine Maxwell. More at 11.
DK Metcalf forced to room in yurt with Aaron Rodgers. More in sports.
WDVE’s Mike Prisuta found alive after getting trapped in dorm room during last season’s Steelers training camp. More in sports.
“Smell the cream!” chants hard-of-hearing Pirates fan. More in sports.
The Pirates fall to 10,878-10,879, leaving them 4.5 games out of a Wild Card spot. More in sports.
“Don’t swim for at least 30 minutes after eating ass,” says UPMC Department of Freakology. More at 11.
Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. Of absence. More in sports.
Final.
Honestly, Stephen Colbert too often panders to his base with lazy jokes. It’s time for something new. In other news, Bob Nutting to swap Coke for Faygo at PNC Park. More at 11.
T.J. Watt tears pec immediately after signing $123 million contract. More in sports.
Seth Hernandez calls ICE on self after getting drafted by Pirates. More in sports.
Wrongs righted: Bucco Bricks to return at former site of Roberto Clemente statue. More in sports.
Pope Leo nervous for first quarterly review with God. More at 11.
A reminder that the player who has the highest exit velocity in this year’s Home Run Derby will win absolutely nothing because who gives a shit? More in sports.
Metric-savvy Pirates fan explains that runs are meaningless, old-school stat. More in sports.
Hardcore Pirates fan pretty certain Seattle series was the anomaly. More in sports.
