Dr. Sass

me: “ I recommend no caffeine after 1pm, at least 7 hours of sleep and eating at least 3 meals per day Also me: *sleeping <5 hr a night, drinking a double espresso at 6pm to get through my post shift workout and eating 75% of my calories in the form of free snacks

I got so overstimulated at work I growled and then had to put myself in timeout.

Today a pharmacist who rounds with us asked me if I was a PGY4 or a fellow…. The cackle I let out. Flattery will get you everywhere but homeslice I’ve been a PGY2 for less than a month

altered patient: you should be on a thrown you’re so beautiful my progress note: patient is pleasantly and whimsically delirious, visual fields clearly intact although A&O x0…

actively discussing ulcers treatment with patient after EGD and risk factors associated with PUD *patients breakfast consisting of only 3 cups of black coffee gets delivered*

*EBL 100cc in op note* hgb dropped 4 points after surgery and needs a unit of blood

insert that TikTok’s where the doctor asks “so how do you feel about dying??”

gaslighting is when I told myself i was exhausted bc of my luteal phase and residency but really it was a hgb of 7

I ran an ultramarathon with a hgb of 7…. No wonder I haven’t been recovering well in my training

me and my attending when the patient looked me dead in the eyes and said “I’m good at taking things down my throat”

Solo with the attending today and finished all rounds and notes before noon 😎

First call shift as a senior resident: - rapid as I walked in the door - resuscitation during rounds - stayed 1.5 hrs late bc of admissions Yikes

I just learned you can get stress cardiomyopathy from an exciting or over joyous trigger… My first thought was “damn at least us residents won’t get that”

sometimes I feel like I don’t know what’s going on in the world and then I remember it’s not normal for people to work 80 hour weeks and study another 10 hrs a week: the average person has 40 more hours to know about political events

An incoming intern asked me what’s in my hospital day bag…. Inside my bag was 21 RX bars from the caf, my stethoscope, AirPods, and a bottle of green pepper cholula

I was tasked with making an intern video with zero instruction and I fear I created a mini documentary…. I found out today they are usually only a couple minutes

I feel like the chosen one when I’m the only IM resident at the surgery resident bar crawl

stop asking residents to come in early for a meeting

picture this: sitting with charge in front of the icu tele monitor and watching your full code patient abruptly hit asystole. The HUSTLE

I will officially never have to hold the intern pager again