Destry
@DestryBrod
Not quite cool enough to be Canadian.I live close enough to Canada to smell the healthcare. Pretty liberal, pretty democratic not that pretty tho. pro choice.
To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I'm sorry that I asked if he was a rescue. The profanity wasn't necessary but thank you for not siccing him on me.
You can be the best you that you can be and it won’t be enough for some people. Fuck those people. Not literally.
The president reminds me of the episode of Friends when Ross tries to get a spray tan.
Why the fuck is the president even posting about late night television programming? Doesn't he have more important things to be doing?
If I were a dentist, I'd keep a rock and a figure skate on the tool tray as a joke.
The alternate ending to the new Superman movie ends with him being detained by ICE agents.
When dogs bark at each other, they're just talking about baked beans.
Saskatoonage mutant ninja turtles. Saskatoonage mutant ninja turtles. Hosers in a half shell. Turtle power, eh?
In my worst Austrian accent: welcome to Terminatedville. Population you.
Every 4th of July fireworks related injury should bleed red, white, and blue.
Me: that's enough about me. How about you? Cashier: there's a line forming, sir.
My first selfie with my new phone. Still ugly. Do I look like I'm 47? Nice replies only. Yes I forgot to post my Pic the first time. Like I said. Getting old sucks.
Getting old sucks. Now, when I give someone fifty bucks for grass, it's just for them to cut it.
I'm waiting to see if I need a knee replacement. I'm still kinda bummed that they haven't told me what they'd replace it with. I hope it's something cool.