The DM Reporter
@DMReporter
I am not a journalist. I do not write for the Daily Mail. I do not think coffee gives you cancer. I think immigration makes the world interesting. Now retired.
FAREWELL: Well, it's time to say goodbye. I'd like to thank my predecessor for entrusting this to me, and I'd like to thank all of you for enjoying my posts over the last three years. Remember, in a world where you can be anything, be kind. And also, fuck the Daily Mail.
GUY ADAMS: What is to blame for the absolute shitshow that is HS2? Well it's OBVIOUSLY diversity!
STATEMENT: GBNews has announced it has suspended Laurence Fox pending an investigation, as they cannot believe that a sexist racist homophobic elitist anti-vax attention-seeking conspiracy nut would make such comments on a right-wing news channel.
FRONT COVER: Why would you want a new class war when we've had a perfectly good one going for the last thirteen years?
TRAINS, PAINS AND AUTOMOBILES: Who needs a high-speed rail service up north when the Government can just get a fleet of taxis to drive stranded people home.
I’m not quite sure how to explain what’s happened tonight, because it’s still happening - but here goes… At 4:40pm I jumped on a train from London to Edinburgh.. It was comfy, it was quiet In hindsight, too good to last…
TOMORROW: Just when you think she can't get any more awful...
FLEABAGS: Woman wears ring after making a lot of money.
TODAY: Sir Keir Starmer reveals 'monstrous' plan to try and help the UK recover from economic disaster by... just following EU rules.
"WAR": All I did was wear a t-shirt designed to provoke and upset people and the next thing I knew I was being punished for it. When will the trans lobby leave us alone?!
AND: If you're so inclined and would like to contribute to my retirement/help me pay my bills fund, then I'd be very grateful if you'd consider swinging by my Ko-fi. ko-fi.com/dmreporter
FORGETTING RUSSELL BRAND: Daily Mail unearths years-old interview and presents it as 'news'. It's almost as if they wanted to take the chance to publish photos of Kristen Bell in a bikini...
AMANDA PLATELL: If Labour gets into power then who knows how many fictional teenagers will end up being able to vote.
DÉJÀ VU ALL OVER AGAIN: If Thomas Markle can keep regurgitating the same shit then so can I.
