Cazza

Darlings Jocasta & Tarquin have employed Molly to look after their heard of vegan cows & to separate them from the bull, that is keeping a close watch on his ladies Apparently, Rambo the Bull loves Purple & so Molly is excited to get cracking on with her new career Cazza 💋

Darlings Diane & I are just heading into a strategy meeting for "Your Party". What would you like to see us accomplish. Diane said that we've already had 14 billion people sign up to be a member in 24 hours, all of which originated from an IP addresses in Palestine Cazza 💋

Darlings I'm bussing in Antifa from Brighton Station to counter protest at the seafront hotels If you recall a while back when I accidentally lost 136 child migrants from a Brighton hotel. I can't have that happen again. I'd have no domestic staff for my summer soirees Cazza💋

It's dress rehearsal week for the panto that I am starring in this winter It's an ethnically diverse updated version of Snow White meets Jack and Mungbean Stalk and I am playing a new character called Tatiana Tastle The pay is really good. I get 99% of ticket sales Cazza 💋

Jezza and I met up with Greta to see if she'd like to become the leader of Jezbollah We have a lot in common ...... we both made our fortunes in the Climate Ponzi Scam and now we're both on the Gaza Grift She sadly declined as there's only one true lefty goddess ... me Cazza💋

Darlings Forget Andy Bodybags and Bee Network, our new Brighton Transit is everything you want and more I took the first journey up to Devil's Dyke to check out the new cruising area that Peter Tatch-Hell wanted for his LGBT countryside cohesion scheme Marvellous Cazza 💋

Darlings Darlings Darlings I've been arrested for allegedly supporting a Green Party certified solar powered logistics firm All I did was wear a T Shirt, stating "We are all Palletline" Molly was sent straight to hospital because she wasn't aware of her circumstances Cazza 💋

Rwanda wasn't a deterrent 1 in 1 out isn't a deterrent A life of servitude to The Green Party is the new national deterrent to stop the small boats crisis. No more hotels or council houses, it will be a Tipi in the New Forest with vegan meals and spring water Cazza 💋

Anna and I were guests of honor at The Brighton First Wives Annual Dinner Every lady had a deeply personal story about how they were ditched by their husbands. One recurring theme was that they struggled to conceive throughout their marriage Anna and I sympathised Cazza 💋

I had this hanging around at the back of my beach house, so I towed it down to the flea market and a woman in a burqa with learning difficulties offered me £50,000 for it ..... CASH She's looking to entice voters to sign up to her new cause across the UK Quids In Cazza 💋

I came across this old picture of Molly in the "European Communist Yearbook 1935" in the readers wives section She's wrote a short story about her crush on Joseph Stalin and how she longed to meet him. Her story was updated in 1960 when she had a crush on Fidel Castro Cazza 💋

Darlings I've been door knocking on older residents this morning to ascertain which ones need the winter fuel allowance and which ones are entitled to it but have no need for the money I gave the ones who don't need the payment, my sort code and account number Cazza 💋

Yes, I did meet with Jezza to discuss his new political party & my role as Chief of Staff We have a lot in common. We both went to private school, both have a property portfolio & we both love communism Anna is setting up the party for him using her vast experience Cazza 💋

Darlings Rasheed Sanook's parents ran a chemist shop so I directed all four Green MP's to vote against prescriptions today Sadly it didn't win but in 2029 when we're the majority party in Westminster, we're banning prescriptions, meat and alcohol in our first week Cazza 💋

Bezza & her mate, Jack have bought a lovely 18th Century Cottage Jack needed a workshop for thems mechanic business & Bezza needed 4 bedrooms, 1 each for them & 2 to house 10 migrants in bunk beds The neighbours are delighted & the butchers shop has gone 100% vegan Cazza 💋

Darlings I've instructed our MP's to table an amendment to the welfare reform bill. We would like to see all benefits removed for UK Nationals unless they're Religion of Peace, Windrush or channel dinghy arrivals We put this to our mini conference & they were delighted Cazza💋

Phew I've been cleaning Tiffany's house for her whilst she was at work It was in such a state. I've tidied away the 400 copies of Razzle, I've put the mig welder away & why she's got a shed load of prostate examination tools is beyond me Another day another dollar Cazza 💋

Ellie Clowns has come in for some stick this week with the right wing press questioning our allegiance to Gaza They interviewed me at my new pop up Flag Shop on Speakers Corner & BBC Verify have confirmed that there's no evidence to prove that we're now The Gaza Party Cazza 💋

Brandy (on the right) kindly stood with three cis women who wanted to be like her They asked her what they could do to be as fabulous as her She said "Grow some balls and VOTE GREEN" Adorable Cazza 💋

Darlings, at 3.30pm I will be releasing a pre-recorded address to the nation about grooming. It will be frank & factual I've given news agencies advance sight of my recommendations on luxury salons & how having a Vegan Brazilian Wax can be both pain & cruelty free Cazza 💋