Daddy Haslam, CPA

I didn’t come here for a 5’7 SEC blonde I came for a steroid shot in my ass

Found out my roommate goes home every weekend for mom to irons his shirts

Got chewed out at 10pm over a report that wasn’t my fault. I signed that lady up for our company wide talent show Beth is performing stand-up comedy

I have full conversations with myself while driving

Table beside me at trivia is named Master Debaters 👍

I found a pitch deck that was on version 70

I just saw a homeless person sucking on a pacifier

Broadway is not a real place

Why is Chagico so fucking hard to spell

Signing of the constitution at the bar? #CBTM

My first co-ed kickball game: *Our team pregamed as our warmups *1 guy slapped the first baseman *2 guys pulled a muscle *Other team wore shooting sleeves *Umpire threatened to end the game

In another life you were in my Bloomberg Terminal group chat here:

Boss canceled our happy hour last minute

If the FBI has raided that Russian Turkish Bath house on 10th street we’d have Jews running out of the tunnels

4th day in a row with no AC

Looked at a coworkers phone and saw my name in the recent instagram search

Fent lean on Broadway

The best part about co-ed bathrooms at the bar is walking out without washing ur hands