Ant Stephen󠁧

In a house with few records growing up my sisters would often listen to my dad's Tom Lehrer LPs. To celebrate his life today I plan to go poisoning pigeons in the park, shoot two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred Guernsey cow, then set my sister's hair on fire.

Hey, @grok, who was the most famous person to visit my profile? It doesn't need to be a mutual, don't tag them, just say who it was and if it’s really pathetic then delete your own post 15 minutes later.

Police said it was an open and shut case.

Liam Gallagher last night "This one's for all you love birds. Don't worry, we don't have a camera, it's not a Coldplay moment. It's none of our business who you're with. Doesn't matter who you're tingling with, mingling with and fingering with."

Another weekend, another concert. Some might say whatever 🎶🎶

Yesterday our old school, Huntington School, performed a brilliant version of Disco Down at their end-of-year arts concert. It’s not just that they sounded incredible…it was where it happened. That same assembly room where, aged 11, Rick and I saw our first ever live band. 1/3

To hear nearly 10,000 people singing the chorus was truly emotional #AllTogetherNow

I'm not sure I want Blackpool to sign a player called Bailey Peacock-Farrell. If we sign him it's only a matter of time before we have a winger called Tarquin Kingsley-Belleville and a midfielder called Alden Fairfax-Dingleby

Ok, tell me I'm not the only one going mad! I must have watched Star Wars 20-30 times in my lifetime, most recently about a week ago. Tonight I read that the bottom half of C-3PO's right leg is silver. Fuck off, that can't be right, can it? Yes it can, apparently!

First game for Charlton, Rob Apter nips in front of goal to score stealing the ball from Sonny Carey who was about to tap it it. "Fucking hell, not again" says Carey.

🎶 Where we going?! 🍊 #UTMP

Manchester please Tim