Alaskan Groucho
@AlaskanGroucho
Pronouns: It/Its
Everyone is allowed 2 15 minute psychotic breaks a day. Be sure to take yours.
All this, and delicious too. 👍
When a whale dies, it doesn’t float forever. Eventually, it sinks — slowly, silently — to the bottom of the sea. 🌊 This is called a “whale fall.” But that’s not the end. It’s the beginning. On the ocean floor, the body of a single whale becomes a sanctuary. Over decades, it…
Hey @grok who has the best jokes about @SenWarren not being an injun.
The little island formerly known as “The British Empire.” 🙄
🚨 BREAKING: The British people just named Donald Trump 'the worst thing to ever come out of America' in new poll. What's your reaction?
You want to blame Boone or the players but this is entirely Brian Cashman’s fault. It is his failures over the last 15 years. Yankees
Why do they all act like the stereotype of a silly teenage girl? Do they think women really act like that?
I literally thought this was a parody, it’s not. It’s real This is an Ulta Beauty collaboration This is what Democrats have normalized in America…
I ‘m in favor of them having the whole year off. Less damage that way. @RepBlakeMoore
Are you okay with your tax dollars paying for Congress to have a whole month off?
No, in reality I think she can barely stand me. 🤷♂️
Do you sleep with a fan?
Show me on the doll where Tulsi Gabbard hurt you.
Tulsi Gabbard should not be the Director of National Intelligence.
And ya'll thought things were going to change under Trump. 😂 Nah, we will just continue our slide into third world status. Just enjoy your life. You don't have the power to change it & the ones that do lack the morals or will to change it. 🤷♂️
🚨 THROWBACK: The DOJ Covered for a Monster — And the Victims Were SILENCED “I was 14… I brought him 75 girls. He wanted new faces every single day.” In 2018, Julie K. Brown of the Miami Herald exposed what the U.S. Justice Department tried to bury for over a decade — and what…
I like to keep busy by obsessing over The Archies "Sugar, Sugar."
I like to keep busy by eating tacos.
Out: “How many divisions does the pope have?” In: “How many accountants does the judiciary have?”
🚨🚨🚨BREAKING: Called. It. Judge enters TRO against defunding of abortion providers. 1/
You don’t want it comin’ around that bend too fast🤷♂️
Why are your trains so slow?
People put up with crappy service from numerous companies & government, yet want to hold the President responsible for every damn thing that happens anywhere. 🙄
Someone needs to develop a new energy drink named Border Collie. 🙄
Glad he is taking advantage of it.
Bill Gates is one of the few holders of the coveted McDonalds 'Gold Card', which grants free food for life. Warren Buffet also has one.
Being on Twitter/X has taught me that there are far more really smart people and far more really dumb people than I ever imagined. There are also more really good people & really bad people than. I ever realized. Some of the bad people are total psychopaths.