30 Helens Agree (2024 Remaster)
@30_Helens_Redux
Professor Emeritus Oxford Endowed Happiness Chair. Expert in all things. 2d chair Acoustic Cloaca, Somerset Tall Fellow's Symphony. Summers in balmy West Sac.
An American man and a Canadian woman can have a baby. That is well known. But that baby will be incapable of reproducing except with another such baby, and even then the offspring will be a midget. So check yourselves before you wreck yourselves, gentlemen.
Some say - on a quiet night - you can still hear the smoke detectors chirping in the distance
Akon's $6 billion futuristic "Wakanda" mega-city in Senegal, Africa, has reportedly been abandoned.
On my way to Green Bay for the annual Packer shareholder meeting. I hope they listen to me this time and draft a better kicker in the first round. Ta!
Dear Cities: The candiru is an Amazon fish that detects your urine stream, swims up your urethra, put out spikes, lays its eggs, and eventually kills you, the host. But not t to worry. Importing Muslims will be completely different. Best of luck.
"Aw no Paw, theer takin way ar talk box! How we gon heer All Things Considered?"
BBQ is for drunk dudes that never learned to cook. Women encourage them because it keeps them outside while the potato salad is being made. Also, potato salad is trash.
The gardeners didn’t show up next door. Probably due to ICE. Can one of you drop by and blow gutter dust all over my freshly washed truck? TIA, 30HA
Me, strolling past the hostess at Applebees flashing my brand new Discover Card™️.
A breeding bull entering the farm full of cows
I’m almost proud of Newsom. Balls like brass maracas.
NEW: The President of Glasshouse Farms, which had two cannabis farms raided by ICE & Border Patrol in Camarillo yesterday, has donated thousands of dollars to Democrats in California, including $10,000 to Gov. Gavin Newsom in 2018. Story: @cameron_arcand foxnews.com/politics/newso…
Here's a rare video of me picking up my takeout order from Jimmy Q's Ribs on MLK Boulevard.
Capybara casual in a bad neighbourhood
When your weed is late because the 10 year old picking it got rescued by ICE…
I can go to sleep tonight a happy man.
What in the Captain Crunch fuck is happening in my garden?
If only “Crossing Against a Red Light While Sauntering as Slowly as Possible” were an event in the Summer Olympics they would dominate.
My Jeep has settings for Mud, Snow, Sand and Protester. Nice that we no longer have to get out and lock in the hubs. The biggest downside is cleaning the organic matter out of the tire treads.
ICE van plows through crowd in San Francisco—running over protesters. "Oh my God! They’re running over people with cars!" heard on video. "Someone's about to get run over—they're hanging off the car!" Protesters beaten & doused with pepper spray—several were "clipped" by van…